Kasey Anderson - The Reckoning

Stalin: Nice singer-songwriter pop music, low-key & melancholy - Dan Bern or Bob Schneider in reflective mood.
Lenin: Southern Gothic and generic classic rock mixed with Dave making travel plans. Chris Rea.
Breshnev: Professional recording, great range… between Shawn Mullins and… other soulful alt.country.
Andropov: Moderate multiple personality disorder. Luckily most of the personalities are fairly agreeable.

Chris Beirne - Freezerburn

Stalin: Passable guitar player, horrible vocalist… DO NOT EVER do bad covers of Flying Burritos songs.
Lenin: I've had sidewalk Sallys tighter than this. I'm sure they're lovely people.
Breshnev: I just want it over. Know what you do with freezerburn? You throw it out.
Andropov: Seriously? Really?… You thought making a CD was ok?… Seriously?

Billy Boy On Poison - Sweet Mess

Stalin: Heavily Bowie-influenced rock, great production and that Ukpop feel. Excellent guitars that span genres. Rock!
Lenin: I liked it up until it stole my girlfriend and drank all my beer.
Breshnev: Everything seems to be blending together tonight. This has more shredding guitar.
Andropov: Playboy indie rock disco beat music.

Lawrence Blatt - Fibonacci's Dream

Stalin: Beautiful acoustic guitar music with worldbeat textures - bright and splendid music filled with life.
Lenin: Gorgeous even without the Fibonacci… his next album is "The Mendelbot Set". True math rock.
Breshnev: Sparked a weird conversation about Fibonacci and I feel like I've learned something I could hardly give a shit about and, much like the Fibonacci sequence, the conversation spirals out of control.
Andropov: 0,1,1,2,3,4,8,13,21,34,55,89,144,233

Detroit 7 - Detroit 7

Stalin: So much fuzz! Japanese rock band that rocks solid and low. Beautiful, heavy, THICK.
Lenin: Coming soon to X-Box: A mess of thrilling tinny noise. Like Shirley Bassey rocking it.
Breshnev: Big, crappy production, totally cool songs. Fun, sloppy rock'n'roll. Buy this.
Andropov: Beautiful, muddy, sexy, hard.

Intodown - Brave New World

Stalin: Mostly instrumental stoner rock… some nice bits & pieces, but a bit misled. What's a flurbatron?
Lenin: Prog-goth like Fallen From Grace replacing the Eastern stuff with surf. Double plus good.
Breshnev: Post-rock. Bleak guitar noodling. You really have to commit to listening to this. Hawkwind.
Andropov: Metal head guitar wanker Goths go surfing, watch out for syringes.
Nikolas: A 37 member gangbang; containing at minimum 3 midgets, 4 orangutans, & lots of cheddar cheese.

Jane Vain & The Dark Matter - Love Is Where The Smoke Is

Stalin: Slowing indie pop built around dragging strings and the occasional guitar riff… Folky Canadian beep-beep.
Lenin: Why's the guitar out front? Focus please. That is better. Nice vocal phrasing. Arty.
Breshnev: Lost In Translation, Season 2: Ontario.
Andropov: It's kind of breathy… sweet, but breathy.

Kerli - Kerli EP

Stalin: Aggressive Estonian sample-heavy rock. Really amazing sounds, awesome grooves, pristine production. Dark perfection.
Lenin: Huge production, darkish dance music ala Danielle Dax. Funny Bauhaus cover. Ok, I guess.
Breshnev: She's hot and super produced. Talented. Will be on the radio soon.
Andropov: She's too perfect; sexy, talented, hot, and wonderful. There's only one explanation - robot invader.

Rue Melo - Rue Melo

Stalin: Soulful light hip-hop with worldbeat flavors and nice raps. Grooves are tight and slower. Nice.
Lenin: Nice big beats. American Idol singing, or YouTube. Do Not Want.
Breshnev: Nelly Furtado-ish. MIA-ish. Will shake ass.
Andropov: Poppy, smooth beats with a little latin love.

Metro Station - Metro Station

Stalin: 80's beep-beep meets 90's indie… some very cool synthesizers mated to emo harmonies.
Lenin: Power pop new wave emo with fake British accents. Gay in the happy homosexual way.
Breshnev: Jimmy Eat World-ish with early 80's synth treatment.
Andropov: If indie rock went gay anthem.

Siberian - With Me

Stalin: Mathy indie rock with moments of brilliance and 80's style delay guitar… robust sounds, cool.
Lenin: Coldplay with tiny hints of U2. Great when it soars, dull when it plods.
Breshnev: Radiohead warble, atmospheric, slave work.
Andropov: I guess Siberia is now in Denton, Texas, because these guys sound like Midlake.

Super 400 - 3 And The Beast

Stalin: These guys stole the good from Big Wreck that they stole from Soundgarden. HOT bassplayer!
Lenin: Three Dog Night/Soundgarden. What do I do with this?
Breshnev: Solid heavy rock with quicker beats. Shades of Jesus Lizard.
Andropov: Don't like where the guy sings. Kind of soulless testosterone whining.

Terra Diablo - Deluge Songs

Stalin: Possibly the heaviest band out of Scotland since Therapy?… Singer = Placebo guy. Music = Big Wreck.
Lenin: 90's alt-rock. Collective Soul Seether. Singer has a 77's Mike Roe vibe.
Breshnev: Emo nu-metal, meaning this will never get her to take her top off.
Andropov: It's totally Puddle Of Mudd, I don't give a fuck what everyone else says.