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The continuing saga of a wholy irreverent new way of reviewing albums! It's like sitting in a room with a bunch of jaded music critics and getting a snapshot of how they feel about an album. Honesty and first impressions are the key to the Bargain Basement.
(opinions expressed may not hold true after repeated listenings to albums)

Bottom Line - Eloquence

Barbie
: Epic new punk from the heartland. Catchy tunes, nice harmonies, excellent rhythm section.
Skipper: The 90's equivalent of hair metal. Yet, it's 2005. Power-pop boy band vocals.
Teresa: Sugary fluff disguised as meaty entrée. Sonic overload for the over stimulated Ritalin crowd.

The Burdens - Uh Oh

Barbie
: Jangly guitar country college rock from Tucson. Some blues infused Warren Zevon moments.
Skipper: Simple and likeable dark folk. A little repetitive, but nice.
Teresa: Country folk with weird guitar effects. A little strange.

Tara Leigh Cobble - Things You Can't Stop With Your Hands

Barbie
: Nashville style Ameri-pop with great lyrics and soul. Musically diverse and interesting. Amazing vocalist.
Skipper: Big, full sound. Better than Sheryl Crow, not as good as Natalie Merchant. Beautiful.
Teresa: Chick rock, but better than most. Nice voice and decent songs.
Midge: bullets, armor-plated bulldozer, an ill wind, viral infection, The Rock, soup splatter, tsunamis, machetes, Mack trucks.

Free Sol - 11:11

Barbie
: Hard rock ska hip-hop. Groovy tunes and great background vocals. Musical diversity produced very well.
Skipper: Fantastic arrangements, nice rhymes and good flow. Some heavy Onyx moments. Damn good.
Teresa: Everything from P.M. Dawn trip-hop to sambas and Manhattan Transfer jazz to straight up rap-rock.
Midge: Candy keeps saying she wants to get with me. I will have to agree.

God Lives Underwater - Up Off The Floor

Barbie
: Techno-metal from former raver gods. Gritty sounds and cool grooves, but almost too aggro.
Skipper: If Filter got into White Zombie. Great sleazy rhythms, but no screaming! Very cool.
Teresa: KMFDM feel with the guitars over standard industrial beats.
Midge: Still got the stuff that made people love "No More Love".

Greyscale - Discord For The Dead Kid

Barbie
: Some excellent, edgey rock'n'roll. Great lyrics and musicianship… then the screaming begins.
Skipper: Schizophrenic metal and other - the rapping is real good, the Slayer shit can go.
Teresa: Some melodic heavy rock, some screaming, a little reggae Sublime feel.
Midge: Part AC/DC, part Gordon Lightfoot, part Tiny Tim.

Jennifer Gentle - Valende

Barbie
: Syd Barrett Pink Floyd-style psychedelia mixed with Ween-esque madness. Surreal landscapes of sounds. Awesome!
Skipper: Like Oliver, Donovan and Herman's Hermits rolled into one. Weird lisp, dad.
Teresa: Crazy 60's inspired goof rock with kazoos and balloons. Ya dogg.
Midge: Who's playing the balloon? Androgynous art-garage Nico era Velvet Underground.

Mark McKay - Shimmer

Barbie
: East coast stories like Springsteen when he was good. Almost Americana, but rocks harder.
Skipper: Tom Petty theft. Decent whiny roots rock, bar blues.
Teresa: A country version of John Mayer and the others like him.
Midge: Too bad you already wasted Warren Zevon… Shit heel.

Queen Esther - Talkin' Fishbowl Blues

Barbie
: Rockin' blues with tons of soul, excellent guitar work, just off vocals, great rhythm section.
Skipper: Hell Yeah! That King Xerxes is one lucky feller. Real nice electric blues (or country).
Teresa: Bluesy, country rock in the Bonnie Raitt style… sort of.
Midge: I like it a lots. Stand By Your Man, indeed.

r-h - Blackasia Volume 1

Barbie: Tranced out electronic Asian music. Think Enigma moved farther south and east.
Skipper: Techno-raga. Background music for people who can't be distracted by real music.
Teresa: Tibetan house music made for accompanying sexual exploits. Kama Sutra trance tunes.
Midge: Asian-lounge, beep beep music. Could be played at the Buddha Bar, yo.

Roper - Brace Yourself For The Mediocre

Barbie
: Former Five Iron Frenzy frontman makes killer pop-punk, working in cool synthesizers and mucho emotion.
Skipper: Funny pop-punk presented as serious. Better than Sum Blink, but it's no Lonely Now.
Teresa: Great pop punk. Nice job on the Shania Twain Cover.
Midge: Greatest ROBOT album artwork of all time. Period! Greatest Shania Twain cover ever. Period!

Peter Salett - After A While

Barbie
: Songs reminiscent of 60's Paul Simon - Downbeat, full of emotion and brilliant storytelling.
Skipper: Borrows from Dylan, Cohen, and Lou Reed. Pretty and gentle and relaxing.
Teresa: Mellow, folky pleasant voice, with some blues guitar thrown in.
Midge: An even mellower Spain. Sleepy stories and excellent production - cool guitars. Better than Mark Kozelek.

Seconds Before - Further Destinations

Barbie
: Fantastically produced new style pop-rock. Hints of Van Halen, Yellowcard, Finger Eleven, Foo Fighters, Fixx.
Skipper: Class: Whine music. Genre: WB rock. Sub-genre: OC boy-pop.
Teresa: Hoobastank, Incubus, Yellowcard, Rooney type stuff.
Midge: Parental warning: will make your daughter read Teen Beat.

Sunshine - Moonshower And Razorblades

Barbie
: Brilliant heavy guitar-synth rock - taking Euro-garage to new levels. Captivating music, excellent production.
Skipper: Goth-punk, like a Bauhaus video game. Something missing, like a soul.
Teresa: Aggressive rock music blending elements from everywhere. Devo, Strokes, Kasabian - high energy, cool sounds.
Midge: They rocked, they rolled, they peed their pants… That's what I heard.

Molly Thomas - Shoot The Sky

Barbie
: Down-tempo new folk. Excellent lyrical poetry, nice instrumentation. Excellent music for introspection.
Skipper: A down-to-earth Sarah McLachlan or a female Gordon Lightfoot. Acceptably off-key.
Teresa: Standard Lilith Fair stuff. Not a great voice, a little off-key.
Midge: You can't rhyme cents & sense! Didn't that girl marry Phil Donahue?

Toothpick - Time Travellin' Couch

Barbie
: Michael Frante style rap over deep soul jams. Excellent musicality, great lyric makes good grooves.
Skipper: The hip-hop vulture spinning pop culture. G. Love mellow folk. That suit's a yellow joke.
Teresa: Folky, earthy rap in the Everlast vein.
Midge: Smashmouth unplugged with a rapper out front.

Umphries McGee - Anchor Drops

Barbie
: Jazzy math-rock for the jam band set. Clever instrumentation, better songs than other jam acts.
Skipper: If patients in the doctor's office sang along to the crap-jazz. Spin Doctors.
Teresa: Don't like the rhythm? Wait a measure. Don't like melody? Welcome home. Jake sings best.
Midge: Jazz lovin' jam banding Steely Dan lovin' wannabes.

Verbal - The Name We Sell Now

Barbie
: 3-piece instrumental combo running the gamit from Texas blues to jazz to math rock.
Skipper: More smart-ass jazz anal emissions. Scatological metallic explorations of Uranus.
Teresa: Funky and jazzy, sometimes rock, instrumental hoo-haa.
Midge: What do you call math rock that doesn't rock? Jazz?

Windmill - Every Last Windmill Shall Fall

Barbie
: Enthralling mid-tempo indie rock filled with clever lyrics, cool lo-fi production, and great musicality.
Skipper: Indie Dinosaur Jr. stuff. Sounds Canadian, great lyrics.
Teresa: New band steps into the void left by Josh Rouse. Slow lo-fi Americana.
Midge: A little Shins, a little British Sea Power, and somebody else I'm missing.

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