Barr - Summary

Tito - Lo-fi beat poetry set to droning nothingness. I wish the drums did something. Really.
Jermaine - dry poetry over minimalist instrumentation. Makes Jim Carrol sound like Backstreet Boys. Non-Violent Femmes.
Marlin - I can't deal with this. Not a good start to the night.
Michael - Lackluster slam poetry backed by minimal musical exploration and talent.

The Bluetones - The Bluetones

Tito - Brilliantly poppy 80's sounding psychedelia. Like Jellyfish in a blender with Style Council… Great arrangements.
Jermaine - Oliver, Herman & The Hermits, Rembrandts. Schlock rock. Pure sap bubblegum. Aggravating suck.
Marlin - Ween. The Motels. The Rembrandts. They write an undeniable hook and they're huge.
Michael - Of Montreal without the morbid lyrics to balance out the overwhelming brightness.
Jesse - La-ti-fucking-da rock'n'roll sunshine & rainbows. Ick. I hate the 80's.

Candygram For Mongo - The Red Pill

Tito - Post 70's-sounding new wave rock without treble and way too much reverb. Kinda trite.
Jermaine - If Killing Joke were happier. I dig it, but have no justification.
Marlin - Cheap Trick. Andrew WK. Rick Springfield. Huey Lewis.
Michael - Pop punk gone terribly wrong and old.
Jesse - Funny sounding production - nothing too creative, but it doesn't piss you off… too much.

Exit Clov - Respond Respond

Tito - Synth-heavy new wave pop with a cutesy girl voice. Well produced and arranged… Retro sugar.
Jermaine - Painfully cutesy vocals, thoughtful and energetic. Unfortunately, impossible to listen to without medication.
Marlin - Good recording. This would be on The O.C. if they had another season.
Michael - The female vocal/synth pop craze suits this band well.
Jesse - Typical girl fronted art band with obligatory violin & catchy song titles.

The Figgs - Follow Jean Through The Sea

Tito - Indie rock Black Crowes. Some cool grooves and an easy energy. No records broken.
Jermaine - Del Amitri. Why bother? The Beat Farmers. Soon to be recording a lousy sitcom theme.
Marlin - Late 70's, The Jam, Joe Jackson, Elvis Costello.
Michael - Ok Go! void of whatever makes people like them.
Jesse - Another re-visit of the 1970s minus the energy, again. Yes, again.

Guitar Bomb - Back Alley Jesus

Tito - Fuzzy guitar and drums rock that drones on in a bluesy, blissful style. Cool, dad.
Jermaine - Filthy, low-down backwoods blues. Tom Waits, Dr. John. Perfect chaser for Gill Landry.
Marlin - Dangerous. The jewel case has a firecracker in it. No idea how he got away with shipping it.
Michael - Their name and packaging are far more explosive than their sound could be.
Jesse - The louder the fucking better.

The Hard Lessons - Wise Up!

Tito - Seventies revival rock done up right with cool keyboards, thundering guitars, and X-style harmonies.
Jermaine - Talented musicians making music time stamped cool for five minutes more.
Marlin - Detroit is probably the place to live if you love Rock'n'roll. Totally cool.
Michael - Pretty much what you would expect from Detroit, just not as good.
Jesse - Grungy 1970's cigarette butt rock revival… yeah, more of it!

June In July - E.P.

Tito - Like the Bunnymen from New Zealand in 1994. Droning, beautiful anti-pop goodness.
Jermaine - As sensitive as a guy can get and retain manhood. Powerful good, ma.
Marlin - Thunderous nodding of the head, early 90's style. Lots of chorus and delay.
Michael - If the Warlocks lost half of their band along with half their typical song lengths.

Kelly And David - As The Twilight Auguries

Tito - Slightly off-key melancholy folk music. I blame Greg Dulli for the persistence of this genre.
Jermaine - I was betting on them, but I lost my rent money, came up short. Small potatoes is better.
Marlin - Folk from NYC… and I'm tired of both.
Michael - Sounds like someone heard "Awkward Duet" by Sons And Daughters and went with just the awkward part.
Jesse - Kind of whiney and boring… yawn.

Gill Landry - The Ballad Of Lawless Soirez

Tito - Gritty border-style downbeat balladry. Beautiful instrumentation, soft vocals, great stories. Kind of like Warren Zevon.
Jermaine - A pack of Pall Malls, bottle of Canadian Mist, and me dead and happy. Hobo country.
Marlin - The kind of early country western music that pre-dates satin panties.
Michael - Moody alt. Country reminiscent of Murder By Death, without the build up.
Jesse - Jumps country styles but still manages to keep it together.

Pat MacDonald - Troubadour Of Stomp

Tito - Reverb-drenched droning stomp reminiscent of Morphine - Some cool harmonica and three-string guitar. Very cool!
Jermaine - Jethro Tull for a new generation. Great twisted lyrics about fetus eating.
Marlin - Strong solo experience… Rocking-ish.
Michael - Like El Paso Hot Button without the creativity that makes EPHB tolerable.
Jesse - Crunchy thick metal blues… wish his vocals were more classic blues.

Dustin O'Halloran - Piano Solos Vol. 2

Tito - Beautiful, reverby solo piano tracks… perfect sleepy time music… the new Mozart, kind of.
Jermaine - Pretty piano music. It's gentle and very nice. Really. He plays himself to sleep nightly.
Marlin - Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus. Opus.
Michael - Soft piano lines in a timely fashion.
Jesse - Sounds like a NPR special.

Robbers On High Street - The Fatalist And Friends

Tito - Great band returns with their brilliant and catchy NYBritpop… I can't wait for the album!
Jermaine - Amazing rhythms. Great interplay. They will launch a thousand bands. Life changing.
Marlin - Easily the best album we've listened to this night. Danceable British pop rock.
Michael - Bowie-like vocals with danceable grooves to please the disco craving youth of today.
Jesse - Stereotypical 1960's Britpop - high tones, snobby British accent and all.

Six Parts Seven - Casually Smashed To Pieces

Tito - Beautiful instrumental emo rock. Excellent musicianship and ear for melody… banjo and lap steel, too!
Jermaine - Mathgrass. Alphabetically utilizing each western instrument. Pleasant mellow lite jazz.
Marlin - Dave's a bit late in pointing out it's an instrumental album. Bedtime music.
Michael - Melodic instrumentals with twangy country overtones.
Jesse - Explosions In The Sky meets Giant Sand.

The Soul Of John Black - The Good Girl Blues

Tito - A Robert Cray-like soulful; blues music. A bit funky, well-produced and easy on the ears.
Jermaine - Worse than Chris Thomas King rapping. Turntable? Please don't bring blues to the 90s.
Marlin - Americana with an unnecessary funk backbone. Like trying to make Kleenex origami.
Michael - Failed attempt to bridge the gap between popular music and blues.
Jesse - Steps back & forth in modern & old-school style, but still manages to sound unoriginal.

Thomas Martin And The Martinis - Electro-Magnetic

Tito - Juxtaposed Elvis Costello and Robert Earl Keen… weirdly engaging. Some nice country stuff happening.
Jermaine - Nice enoughpedal steel, but Lemonheads singer destroys the credibility. Eagles country rock.
Marlin - Rock and roll, a la Smithereens.
Michael - Boring alt. country that is not so alternative.
Jesse - Sounds like Greg Graffin's solo project… Like the guy is singing out of his range.