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The continuing saga of a wholly irreverent new way of reviewing albums! It's like sitting in a room with a bunch of jaded music critics and getting a snapshot of how they feel about an album. Honesty and first impressions are the key to the Bargain Basement.
(opinions expressed may not hold true after repeated listenings to albums)

James Allred - James Allred

Alan
: Downbeat syncopated modern folk. Amazing guitar playing, nice arrangements. Pink Floyd plays slow psychedelic folk.
William: Leonard Coehn with Al Stewart's voice. Stellar guitar, spooky songs. Great record.
Charles: Vocally & lyrically not interesting. However, the guitar was salvageable, albeit overproduced.
Jack: Nice guitar work, sounds like Bob Dylan.

Ambry - Holding On By The Blindfolds We Hide Behind

Alan
: Excellent, highly melodic modern rock. Heavy guitars, pounding rhythms, very lyrical poetry. Post-emo beauty.
William: Hard rock emo with over-pronounced Bill Joe vocal spitting. I'm ambry too, Ed.
Charles: Structureless angst-driven heavy rock. Bland, but not horrid.
Jack: Passion and talent without direction. These boys need structure & discipline… and a chorus.

Armor For Sleep - What To Do When You Are Dead

Alan
: Excellent modern rock/metal/edgy emo album. Smooth vocals, chunky guitars, pounding rhythms. Bloody brilliant.
William: Not bad agro-pop fixated on death. The accompanying booklet is instructional.
Charles: Music like this makes it "cool" to cry openly and still have full sleeve tattoos.
Jack: Armor For Sleep: the other Jimmy Eat World. I like the booklet. Very much.

Baby Teeth - The Baby Teeth Album

Alan
: 70's style light funk-rock with words that go in circles. Cool keyboards & awesome drums.
William: Canned Grand Lovin' Spoonfunk. Frizzy haired out of range, tone & style yuck rock.
Charles: A Grand Funk trainwreck that leaves me flat as their vocals.
Jack: Too funny to be bad. Too bad to be funny.

Bluebottle Kiss - Come Across

Alan
: Dark, sonic Americana - beautiful instrumentation, nice twangy guitars, coold rums, brilliant lyrics… intensely moody.
William: Great bombastic Nick Cave stuff turning to insufferable Dinosaur Jr. junior. Fantastic lyrics.
Charles: Downbeat with gothic country undertones. Fully the in-style & popular sound for "hip" indie bands.

The Bravery - The Bravery

Alan
: British garage disco music. Cool programming, cool sounds, cool vocals. Disco drums still suck.
William: "you spin me right round baby right round…"
Charles: Order a New World Cure DEVOid of originality, and disco into obscurity.
Jack: If you liked this shit in the 80's, your kids hate you.

Build Buildings - There Is A Problem With My Tape Recorder

Alan
: Quirky sparse atmospheric synthesized ultra-light drum'n'bass. Very cool sounds & textures. Lullabies for nightmarish baby robots.
William: The opposite of Einsturzende Neubauten. Music made by and for insects. Irritating nonsense.
Charles: Random, yet pleasing sounds of computer fucking in the CGI generated moonlight.
Jack: Crazy, experimental art stuff. I think your tape player is fine.

Cetacea - EP

Alan
: Lush, epic pop music. Soaring vocals, excellent drumming over OK Computer beds of sound.
William: Monoxinal 3% by volume. Do not take Cetacea if you suffer from depression or whining.
Charles: This is the prog pretentiousness that caused a generation of punks to rise up.
Jack: Brit sounding art rock. Very interesting drums.

The Churchills - The Odds Of Winning

Alan
: Nicely produced modern rock. Perfect synthesizer usage, great guitar tones. Dnady Warhols Squeeze-Fighting Foo.
William: Winston & Ward make sugary Weezer snacks in Rembrandts swill. Slick produced cup of sick.
Charles: These guys should be on the radio! They sound like everything else there.
Jack: Standard pop rock. Not bad, not outstanding.

Continuous Peasant - Intentional Grounding

Alan
: Dark pop-rock, loosely held together by great piano, low guitars, and flat vocals. Somehow cool.
William: Part Bob Dylan, part Lemonheads. The hero is the brilliant/ bizarre imagery.
Charles: RACTOR lives. Computer generated lyrics and music from a fabric coated underground.
Jack: Too well-read and clever-attempting for their own disconnected pseudo-intellectual selves.

Herb Eimerman - &I You

Alan
: Super 80's-sounding melodic pop. Terrible drums. Daniel Amos, Crack The Sky - cool vocal recording.
William: Not without merit, Herb can turn a tune and plays well enough… but sing like a man.
Charles: This is painfully bad, awful, shit. Please leave the early 80's buried - please. And thanks.
Jack: The return of the less talented Cat Stevens.

The Escaped - The Escaped

Alan
: Good, solid, high energy punk rock. Thick, meaty guitars. Almost makes me want to fight.
William: Like setting fire to the gas nozzle and shooting flames at passing motorists.
Charles: A Clear And Present Punk Rock. Punkrockalypse Now. How Stella Got Her Punk Rock.
Jack: Good old school, angry, punk rock.

Meghan Hayes - Go And Give The Guard A Break

Alan
: Laid-back rootsy AC rock with brilliant vocalist. Excellent lyrics, very well-produced, catchy tunes - and on key!
William: Joan Baez electric. She can sing and write, the band can play. Better than we deserve.
Charles: Country rock fusion gumbo done well a la Jane Siberry meets Deana Carter.

Kottonmouth Kings - The Kottonmouth Xperience DVD

Alan
: A Hazy kaleidoscope that may or may not enhance your pot smoking/music listening experience.
William: As if the music wasn't grating enough, the video will give you a migraine.
Charles: Mind masturbation for mental midgets. Dope required for appreciation.
Jack: If you smoke, and like KMK, then you will love this experience enhancing audio/visual experience.

LN - Dirt Floor Hotel Part 1

Alan
: Thick, moody, ambient, downbeat beauty - deep vocals, intriguing lyric, cool sounds. Red House Painters-ish.
William: Deep, slow, echoey and gorgeous. Like a very depressed Chris Isaac. Incredible.
Charles: This band makes me sad and reflective… I love it! I want more.
Jack: Warning: do not operate heavy machinery while listening to this album.

Cas Lucas - Giving It Back

Alan
: Brilliant acoustic guitar player - songs of great poetry, entrancing stories. SUPREME GUITAR PLAYING - wonderful!
William: Deft guitar-folk. Enjoyable songwriting and decent singing. Play all night, but ditch the back up singers.
Charles: Yup - a guy and a guitar - yup -uhhuh - yup.
Jack: Guitar playing guy singing nice songs.

Lynn Paul Jr. Band - Slingshot

Alan
: Good, solid jamming bar rock. Hints of Cheap Trick, Vapors, 77s, Widespread Panic, Nick Lowe.
William: And in the center square… Lynn Paul. This guy has the Knack to use Cheap Tricks.
Charles: White trash meets Phish. Shake gently, add cigarette butts to taste.
Jack: Cheesy 40-something bar rock.

Angela McKenzie - Nine 9

Alan
: Deliciously soulful acoustic folk with beautifully smoky silk-voiced chanteuse. Excellent songwriting, production, playing.
William: Simple and stirring arrangements, beautiful voice, lovely folk playing. Quite impressive.
Charles: Yup - a girl and her guitar - yup - uhhuh - yup.
Jack: Folky, country, acoustic girl stuff. Nice voice

New Brutalism - 2001-2003

Alan
: The most aggressive (later) Gang Of Four cover band I've ever heard. Noisy, fast, hard.
William: No metal, clever hardcore rhythms, tasty bass lines. Like Cro-mags, but lighter.
Charles: Wanna-be Swedish hardcore band? Comes up just short.
Jack: Brutal doesn't begin to describe the beating these guys need.

Popular Genius - How To Be Popular

Alan
: Oddly quirky Jellyfish-style pop music, 80's guitars, 70's harmonies, 90's arrangements. Brilliantly groovy, strangely cool.
William: Sickening jazz-rock with a vocalist emulating a clarinet.
Charles: Is genius self declared? Chicago meets a male Alanis Morissette and a bored recording tech.
Jack: That's a lot of horns, man! Look at the list! Wild, dad.

Giorgio Pretti - Cuidado Mano

Alan
: Amazing guitar player struts his Latin stuff on smooth tracks. Bosssa nova, jazz, rock brilliance.
William: Very well done Brazilian samba, rock and ballads. The name says it all.
Charles: Basic, competent bossa nova. Paul Simon, Santana, &The Gipsy Kings do guest spots?
Jack: Warning: only for people who like getting laid.

Will Sartain - The Listening Booth

Alan
: The one-man quirky indie rock machine. Great piano lines, enthralling llyrics, cool songs.
William: Get out, mom… I'm recording! Edgy, punctuated indie piano. Talent show dropout.
Charles: Make like a tree and find a key.
Jack: I bet this guy wears corduroy pants all the time.

Amie Sassano - Casting Shadows

Alan
: Slightly off-key AAA-bar rock doing its best to sound like Chrissie Hynde. Passable, not great.
William: Straight-ahead roots rock, could do with more melody and oomph from the vocals.
Charles: Angsty, roots rock that just sits there. Shake and Bake music.
Jack: People should sing in their range… and avoid Ani DiFranco rhythms.

Scientific American - Strong For The Future

Alan
: Fascinating ambient soundscapes moving from minimalist to near drum'n'bass. Brilliant sounds, cool arrangements, neat poetry.
William: Tripped-out manipulated sounds, soothing and curious, warped vocal treatment.
Charles: Kraftwerk tranced to the gills and dragged into the 90's.
Jack: Silky smooth background music with occasional sonic challenges & cool vocals.

Six Day Slide - Held Under

Alan
: Very well written pop/rock music, touches of emo. Good players, good singers = good rock.
William: Decent R&B rock. I thought the singer was black. Annoying guitar bits.
Charles: And on the seventh day, they imitated.
Jack: Uplifting rock music. Good sound and easy to listen to songs. Well done, boys.

Jamie Stillway - Mell Of A Hess

Alan
: Beautiful acoustic instrumental jazz-grass. Excellent playing, lovely compositions, very sublime tones. Perfect!
William: Baroque chamber music, vaudeville, and folk, expertly & delicately executed. Painfully good.
Charles: I learned what an octave violin is. This is a great record!
Jack: Very mellow folk with some jazz undertones.

Suit Of Lights - Suit Of Lights

Alan
: Clever lyrical flow on across-the-board musics. They Might Be Giant Paul McCartneys. Fun, light, cool.
William: Plodding dub-punk with stunted vocals giving way to Himmelman/Costello wussiness. Confused.
Charles: I don't know what to say - some good, some bad - mostly bad.

Tongues - Ugly

Alan
: Very heavy Australian rock - edgy but smooth, like Big Sugar, BRMC, Garbage, Bush. Rock'N'Roll brilliance.
William: Big dangerous sound like Babes In Toyland doing Divinyls' songs. Makes me wet.
Charles: Thick, meaty rock soup with a whiskey rough aftertaste and a hint of vegemite.
Jack: I wish all rock guitar was this thick and beautiful.

Turnpike Glow - Rush Home

Alan
: Lower indie-rock psychedelia, draws from Joy Division, Slowdive, Durutti Column, Galaxy 500. Fascinating and cool.
William: Early 90's British art noodling. Stay-in-your-seat rock. Durutti Column VS. Unrest.
Charles: Highway hypnosis or identity crisis? Severed Joy Division Heads in your Wedding Present.
Jack: Belle & Sebastian's drugged up cousin. Can't talk… coming down. Spacemen 3, sort of.

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