American Princes - Little Spaces

Paula: Ultra-chunky guitar sounds on post-emo songs that rock… rock real good. Just solid greatness.
Simon: Right band, wrong singer. Sloppy early Soul Asylum, Meat Puppets. Lyric thieves, numbingly repetitive.
Randy: Sunny Day Real Estate rock. Solid. Blame Sonic Youth if you must.
Ryan: The band a girl with tattoos and black-rimmed glasses would listen to… cause it is too hip.

Bang! Bang! - Decked Out

Paula: Brilliant new wave music with jerky attitude. Like modernized Devo, but much more sexy. Bitchin'.
Simon: Lovely power pop. Ditch the chick. Divinyls, Cheap Trick, Buggles, Berlin.
Randy: Excellent hand-me-down rock. Single line guitar picking, female vocals, bashing drums type stuff.
Ryan: Neurotic new wave.

Jeff Eaton - Wish You Were Here

Paula: Super clean country-pop. Nice songs and superior production, like a new Crack The Sky.
Simon: Mature, fleshed-out, intelligent, pleasant & honest rock. Tender and soothing. Best disc tonight.
Randy: Sooooo tired of sensitive guys and their tender naked emotions.
Ryan: Almost country, but not… Christian rock minus the Christian.

Glovebox - Glovebox

Paula: Cleverly produced electro-pop from down under. Tight grooves and phat beats. Excellent club rock!
Simon: Jarring disco. Awful Peaches stuff… some 50 year old broad loves the night life.
Randy: Cool sounds. Pet Shop Boys, Dee-lite - this album will spread H.I.V.
Ryan: A low end Moby, minus a coherent theme.

The Heavy Blinkers - The Night And I Are Still So Young

Paula: Orchestrated 70's pop with monster strings and great harmonies. A bit soft & syrupy, but nice.
Simon: Old Navy ad on 'ludes. Retro 60's college schlock - Lettermen. The Association. Disgusting.
Randy: No shit. Nothing wide-eyed here. Beach Boys with stumble biscuits and white wine.
Ryan: A bad PBS special. And then…

Lorenzo Goetz - The Heavy EP

Paula: Thickly groovy pop music with a dark soul, brilliant riffs, & tons of words squeezed in.
Simon: Soul Coughing smart white rap. Why do hippies dig this stuff? I like the white pussy.
Randy: A little bit of Sublime, good groove. Johnny Depp may be in this band.
Ryan: Not really singing, more a coughing up of lyrics. Not my flavor of jelly bean.

On Trial - Forever

Paula: Amazing guitar tones on 70's style devil lyrics and songs that remind of psychedelic Yardbirds.
Simon: Garagey, slightly psychedelic paranoid rock. Steppenwolf, Max Frost, Seeds. Psych out, man.
Randy: I see horned-rim glasses, long hair and a bubbling cauldron of lentil soup.
Ryan: Dark 70's rock with an occasional bright burst.

Pilate - Caught By The Window

Paula: A group of Canadians playing some of the finest Britpop of late. Very fine rock!
Simon: Once they get out of bed, it's pretty decent. Palo Alto gives us Barabas.
Randy: Sounds like Bono. Good stuff. Can't help but think this could be better than Coldplay.
Ryan: Indie rock, but in a good way.

Preeta - In This Moment

Paula: Brilliantly produced grl pop… sometimes Sarah McLachlan, sometimes Jewel, always nice and crispy. Inspirational.
Simon: People requiring ethical eating to animals.
Randy: Soooo tired of sensitive guys and their…. Nevermind. It's a worldbeat folk chick. My bad.
Ryan: Why don't cute girls write interesting songs? What a shame.

Pretty Boys - Ghetto Rock

Paula: Old wave chicks playing the non-disco Blondie side of 80's rock. Varied musicality and fun.
Simon: They rock without being cartoons. This is a genuine rock band, but with chicks.
Randy: Rock that you should purchase. Immediately.
Ryan: Chicks singing aggressive lyrics, but not sounding like shit. Joan Jett. Woo hoo!

Rhythm & Groove Club - Groove Approved

Paula: Wilson Pickett-inspired rock and soul music filled with horns and rife with gospel blues.
Simon: Quite impressive full band soul. Percy Sledge but with an even dumber name.
Randy: Couldn't really give a fuck about this band. I've been listening to death metal, Arch Enemy to be specific, for over two weeks now in tha hopes that machine gun drumming would dislodge all of the frets I've been having about almost everything, from life, labor and love to impending world war. It's worked, but not as well as this exercise ball I'm sitting on. Who would have thought?
Ryan: A fifties doo-wop-blues extravaganza. Anyone for a sock hop?

Spain Colored Orange - Hopelessly Incapable Of Standing In The Way EP

Paula: Low-beat 60's tinged organ pop. Lots of cool keyboards and luscious arrangements. Calexico on acid.
Simon: Great horns, blues and such… then suddenly America (the band) and some Crowded House.
Randy: A cabaret as trippy as the name suggests.
Ryan: Indie rock cabaret rock band that's heavy on the keyboards.

Vulgaria - Weight Of The World

Paula: Screaming Trees style melodic hard rock. Lots of great riffs and solid rhythms. Cool vocalist.
Simon: Just so music. One step ahead of the hippies… bar rock needing a boost.
Randy: Nice mixture of Springsteen and the Replacements.
Ryan: Sprinkled with awesome guitar riffs, it keeps me hoping, but left me wanting.

Women In Docs - Under A Different Sky

Paula: The Indigo Sheilas… great acoustic pop with brilliant lyrical references. Dynamic songs and beautiful voices.
Simon: Nice folk-pop produced too bright. Women in Docs and sundresses are hot.
Randy: Dixie Chicks as sung bareback on a kangaroo.
Ryan: Holy Cockney accent, Batman!

Various Artists - The Traveling Cowboy

Paula: Some nice guitar playing on cool country songs… but needs to be mastered. Badly.
Simon: Lispy old prospectors doing shoddy songs with store-bought lyrics. Somewhat endearing.
Randy: Someone needs to learn to turn on the Dolby. I haven't heard tape hiss in forever.
Ryan: Betty doesn't rhyme with Chevy. Levee does, but that's been used. Heavy. Bevy.