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The continuing saga of a wholly irreverent new way of reviewing albums! It's like sitting in a room with a bunch of jaded music critics and getting a snapshot of how they feel about an album. Honesty and first impressions are the key to the Bargain Basement.
(opinions expressed may not hold true after repeated listenings to albums)

 

Anchorage - The Hand Points to Yesterday

Bill
- Basically one song in four parts. The singer should rethink his career path.
Hannibal - Not that bad, but the guys voice will wear on you. Gives me a headache.
Miggs - Pop-like tunes with mediocre vocals, terrible drums, and not much talent overall.
OJ - If you can't sing, you shouldn't be a lead singer. Bland alt-pop.

The Black Tulips - The Black Tulips

Bill - Driving and raw; the singer morphs into a dying cat on the second track.
Hannibal - Very grating, but very good. Production doesn't elevate as well as it could.
Miggs - Singer sounds like Herman's Hermits on crack, with help from distorted guitar, very strange indeed…
OJ - Both music and vocals are very weird, but strangely fascinating…

Chiodos - All's Well That Ends Well

Bill - For those with angst, rejoice! Chiodos gives you heavy guitar, classical keyboards, and whiiiiny vocals.
Hannibal - Speed metal emo like an evolved Queensryche with a whiney vocalist. Piano seems out of place.
Miggs - Somewhat decent hardcore with high pitch male vocals, driving power chords and beats.
OJ - Everything you'd expect from screamo, from the whininess to the stupid song names.

Daphne Loves Derby - On the Strength of All Convinced

Bill - Bland, but listenable. "Pollen and Salt" could have been written by Elliott Smith's idiot cousin.
Hannibal - Like a wannabe Dashboard Confessional. Not too bad, but not too good either.
Miggs - California rock meets indie rock with a hint of dissonance. Should stick to acoustic stuff…
OJ - Non-threatening indie pop, similar to Death Cab for Cutie. Makes me sleepy.

Dr. Frankenstein's Lab - Crime Scenes And Murder Songs

Bill - Genre is totally dead. Do any of them even surf anymore? It's time to start again.
Hannibal - Surf rock just never seems to interest me, and while this is good, I'm bored.
Miggs - An interesting mixture of 60s surfer bands and Agent Orange type stuff. Mostly instrumental.
OJ - I guess it's as good as surf rock can get. That ain't sayin' much though.

Get Hustle - Rollin in the Ruins

Bill - Like a really bad garage rock band practice session with random keyboard noises thrown in.
Hannibal - Three-piece with drums, keyboards, and vocals. Barely coherent, maybe I haven't consumed enough drugs.
Miggs - If the Beastie Boys really really had no talent or musical ability and had a kid with Steven Tyler, this would be him.
OJ - This just isn't good. Music is just thrown together, vocals are brutal.

Various Artists - Kaijuice

Bill - Some hits, but a lot of bland filler. Could've been shorter and tighter.
Hannibal - Funky compilation of android/monster themed songs that no nerd could go without.
Miggs - Great compilation disk, with plenty of different styles from punk to electronica
OJ - Gigantic and wide-ranging effort with something for every asiophile.

The Keep Aways - The Keep Aways

Bill - Aromas of high energy punk with road rage undertones.
Hannibal - Garage rock punk. Low-fi doesn't capture the true energy powerhouse this band is.
Miggs - Very raw female punk. Reminiscent of Agent Orange and other earlier punk bands
OJ - Solid, if mainly repetitive and somewhat unremarkable, punk.

The Mackrosoft - The Dawning of the Aja Aquarius

Bill - Technically well-produced, but otherwise dull and sleep-inducing.
Hannibal - Weird intermix of different styles. Works but puts me to sleep.
Miggs - Jazz / Funk / Ambient mix similar to many songs performed by Zero 7.
OJ - Funky jazz with lots of instruments and synth. Guess it's good if you like that.

The March Hares - EP1 & EP2

Bill - Almost there. I'd like to see an LP since these guys could be something.
Hannibal - Witty with some hooks, but overall just plain uninteresting.
Miggs - Very mild and bad mixing, kind of like some late 80s British rock
OJ - Could be the next The Smiths; a bit lo-fi and not as clever, but close.

Ministry - Rantology

Bill - Not original version of "Jesus Built my Hotrod." Without that, who cares?
Hannibal - Good collection, maybe worth it for the live tracks and single unreleased.
Miggs - A compilation of the band's older stuff with one new song, this is classic speed metal.
OJ - A sure sign that Ministry no longer matters: the Compilation/Best Of record.

Monstrum Sepsis - Movement

Bill - Imagine if the Death Metal scene got into electronica and weren't so silly anymore.
Hannibal -Stunning ambiance, hypnotic atmosphere and breath-taking delivery.
Miggs - Downtempo electronica similar to plenty of Moby tracks with its beats and transitions
OJ - If Korn did techno … but seriously folks.

Mortal Treason - Sunrise Over a Sea of Blood

Bill - Heavy death metal, lots of growling and phlegmmy gargling.
Hannibal - It's funny when he growls "I'll steal your soul". That's sad.
Miggs - These guys play tragic sounding chords to driving death metal beats, wicked guitar, and death related lyrics.
OJ - Christian death metal. Tight tremolo picking, solid screaming. Good if you like that genre.

No-Fi Soul Rebellion - Lambs to the Slaughter

Bill - It's funky and clunky. I want to like it, but it just misses the brass ring.
Hannibal - I'm not quite sure what to think, I want to bash them, but man they have soul.
Miggs - New wave funk with plenty of energy. Don't forget to watch the (odd) music video!
OJ - It's weird and quirky. Likeable without letting you know why it's likeable.

Sicbay - Suspicious Icons

Bill - Angry pop rock with a few tender moments.
Hannibal - Reminds me of old Jawbox, but more repetitive and lackluster.
Miggs - The vocals are that of a hardcore band, but the tunes are more pop / garage rock.
OJ - Interesting music, but no cohesiveness to the album.

The Smyrk - Monsters on Maple Street

Bill - Soulful singing, but soul-less rock music.
Hannibal - Clever guitar lines with vocals that don't quite sync to the style. Like Chubby but blander.
Miggs - Hard rock with vocals similar to Lenny Kravitz without the edge, not incredibly original.
OJ - Like Corey Glover over rock'n'soul. I like it.

Staple - Of Truth and Reconciliation

Bill - Melodies are hard to find here. Lots of yelling with intermittent angry rants.
Hannibal - Preachy but decent. The rants are the best part.
Miggs - If Robert Smith from The Cure went the metal/hardcore route, it would parallel these vocals.
OJ - Vocals much better when singing than when shouting. Decent Christian rock.

System Noise - EP

Bill - Smoky vocals over funky indie rock.
Hannibal - Now this just bugs me. The mix doesn't make sense. Can't listen to it.
Miggs - 1930's lounge singer meets rock rhythms and absolutely terrible chord progressions.
OJ - First thing I thought of was King Crimson. Interesting vocals, wild music; not bad.

Treiops Treyfid - Feelings Of Unreality

Bill - Studio artist makes foray into experimental music with mixed results.
Hannibal - At times inspired, but not enough to carry it. Its an album of inside jokes.
Miggs - In the same vein as the White Stripes with plenty of distortion and lame lyrics
OJ - Artistic experiment that occasionally delivers, but just as often falls flat.

Check out last months Basement...
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