Eight Days Gone - Silence To The Naysayers

Larry: Nay, Nay, Nay, Nay, Nay.

Darrel: Blander than Creed, people don't listen to this stuff anymore, do they?

Daryl: Man, Collective Soul got old. What, this isn't Collective Soul?

The Break Up - She Went Black

Larry: Daisy Chainsaw meets the Cramps. Good beats. I like.

Darrel: Low fi, garage rock. Not bad, but awfully repetitive.

Daryl: It's catchy. It draws you in a little bit. It's fun.

the Album Leaf - In A Safe Place

Larry: Blissfully melancholy lullabies for 20-somethings. Aurally beautiful, full of lush textures and stark brilliance.

Darrel: Really beautiful atmospheric pieces chopped up by crappy drumbeats. Sleep happy, wake annoyed.

Daryl: Music to make your chakras tingle.

Dick: This is on Subpop? when did Subpop grow up?

Lemon - Weight Of The World

Larry: Soul-less white soul. Al Green's rolling in his grave while Geroge Michael dances on it.

Darrel: Pet Shop Boys. Disco sucks. Roland Orzibal. Blue eyed souls usually sucks. Morrissey sucks.

Daryl: Just as sour as it's name.

Dick: One guy is named Thor. That's pretty cool. And the coffee can congas. That's funny.

Son Of The Velvet Rat - By My Side

Larry: Music to kill yourself by.

Darrel: Drearier than Clann Zu. If beat were any slower we'd have cardiac arrest.

Daryl: Don't jump man, it isn't worth it.

Bobbleheads - Automatic Fun

Larry: Barenaked Ladies travel back in time to 1968 to join forces with the Association.

Darrel: English Beat doing a happy hippy musical. Very Hollies, Lovin' Spoonful... slight Madness.

Daryl: Very 60's poppy. They must be very happy with themselves.

Various Artists - Reggae's Finest

Larry: Great dancehall collection. Perfect for your next fiesta hacienda, complete with Reggaeton tracks por los hombres.

Darrel: How can you have a cd called Reggae's Finest and have no real reggae?

Daryl: KC Jockey and Vybz Kartel are inventive and the spanish is fun. Too Hollywood.

Dick: I can't take my eyes off the cd cover, and centerfold.

Antietam - Victory Park

Larry: Out of tune lo-fi dream pop. Recognizable riffs drowning in reverb. Singer's need autotune.

Darrel: The first Antietam was a human tragedy. This Antietam is even worse.

Daryl: I'd like to teach the world to sing... 70's folk rock disguised as modern rock.

Dick: That's a whiskey bottle? I thought it was a tabasco bottle.

Amberjack Rice - Get So Little

Larry: Austin's best kept secret. Great blues, awesome country, music for the sake of excellent music.

Darrel: Loose country and country blues from dark juke joints. Cool and funny.

Daryl: Honky tonk/roadhouse bluesy rock. Good stuff!

Dick: That guitar in that speaker over there. I like that one best.

PH10 - In Helmutvision

Larry: Decent progressions, samples and bass. Same tired beats. Cleans better than phisoderm. Ph balanced.

Darrel: Inventive rhythms and sample heavy grooves make the rave world spin. It fits.

Daryl: Run of the mill NY hip hop/electronica. Not inspired at all.

Klear - Makin' Noise

Larry: Good, solid alterna-hard rock incorporating more folky and heartfelt melodies. Dark, heavy, engaging.

Darrel: Velvet Revolver has a new opening act!

Daryl: Hard drivin', hard drinkin' hard rockin', hard ballading... Van Halen called, looking for their next singer.

Dick: This sounds like rock and/or roll.

Glenn Kidd - Aura Of Grace

Larry: "Can I Borrow a Feeling" bad. Worse than you can imagine.

Darrel: The ultimate white elephant gift.

Daryl: This gives Christian music a bad name. And that's saying a lot.

Oscar Jordan - Eclectic Soul

Larry: The blues of Tom Principato with the gospel soul of James Brown. Well done, Oscar.

Darrel: Hot, chi-town styled blues. Buddy guy and a little Bill Withers on the ballads. A+

Daryl: Hey Lenny, somebody stole your sound and funked it up.

Dick: "I Liked you Better When You Were Drinking" is one of my favoritest songs ever now.

Even - Downpayment On Future Glories (1995-2003)

Larry: Move over Kinks, now there's something Kinksier. Brilliant Britpop spanning the genre's classic best.

Darrel: If you could imagine John Lennon mixed with Paul McCartney. Maybe a little Geroge Harrison.

Daryl: A little bit Vines, a little bit Strokes. You can always count on the Aussies.

Dick: A bit more 60's than Ilikemost of my new Australian Britpop... But AWESOME!

The Exit - Home For An Island

Larry: Like old U2 and Police updated for the new millenium. Solid, engaging, inspiring rock music.

Darrel: Do some research before naming your overproduced band. Write songs in your range. Wear sunscreen.

Daryl: Add a dash of the Police, a pinch of U2, water it down and you've got the Exit.

i/dex - Seqsextend

Larry: Byelorussian electronic soundscapes. Downbeat, offbeat, arhythmic, textural, fascinating, low, chimy, interesting, a bit loungy.

Darrel: The least amount of noise you can make and legally call it music.

Daryl: Very laid back, sedate, ultra techno lounge.

Dick: Remember the center groove on vinyl? This uses that for the rhythm tracks. It's cool.

Kotra - Dissilient

Larry: They are making the feedback feedback on teh feedback. This may be considered art...

Darrel: random squawks fcompiled for the sole purpose of destroying critics' ears. No one will buy it.

Daryl: Obviously the product of secret Soviet medical experiments.

Dick: Look at the cool stamps from the Ukraine!

Josh Todd - You Made Me

Larry: Halfway decent sound for a dying genre.

Darrel: Fans of Buckcherry will relish the arrival of Buckcherry Redux.

Daryl: Uninspired, cookie-cutter rock music elicits a shrug and a "meh."

Zug Island - 3:33

Larry: Points for production and dynamics. Very sonically beautiful & melancholy - Reminiscent of early 90's Ozzy.

Darrel: Nice deep voice, but he sounds 50. Faith No More meets Dio. Good production.

Daryl: They're on Insane Clown Posse's label... What more do you need?

Tober - Harajuku No Emo Ko

Larry: Taking emo and making it interesting again. Mascis style disharmony over lo-fi drums and clever guitars.

Darrel: Highly listenable math-rock with lyrics about things we can all dig. Lunchboxes, comic books, girls.

Daryl: He's got interesting phrasing where he drags over the end of the measure.

Dick: Weezer should sound so good. Screwy syncopation, funny lyrics, drunk guitars. This emo ain't emo!

Fixmer/McCarthy - Between the Devil...

Larry: Former Nitzer Ebb frontman plays the same old tricks. Slightly danceable, nothing groundbreaking.

Darrel: Don't they know they closed all the clubs that played this shit? Buy a damned guitar.

Daryl: These guys have listened to a lot of Fiction 8. But not enough.

Dick: Sounds like Nitzer Ebb. chunk.Sounds like Nitzer Ebb. chunk.Sounds like Nitzer Ebb. chunk.

Kultur Shock - Kultura Diktatura

Larry: Fiery gypsy music, Slavic and Spanish, infused with molten metal. mindblowing like Primitive Reason.

Darrel: Is he really singing "Tutti Frutti Gelato"? this is brilliant.

Daryl: Get that balalaika out of the pit!.

Dick: Awesome multi-rhythmic gypsy hard rock. Cross-cultural references from Klezmer to metal to samba and punk.

Catheters - Howling... It Grows And Grows

Larry: If the Hives/White Stripes are a bit tame for you... this is your band!

Darrel: Garage punk has moved to the next level. Noisy, energetic and wild!.

Daryl: This decade's garage revival should be up... Now. See you in ten years.

Dick: Raw garage with Screaming Cheetah sleaze. Manic stuff to make you frug!

Nobody, Et Al. - Nothing, Etc.

Larry: Nice mellow hippy folk rock for youtwenty-somethings. Well read, well versed, smooth like great whiskey.

Darrel: Eagle Eye Cherry with a clarinet? It's pretty... boring, that is..

Daryl: Isn't that Natalie from Facts Of Life? She's cute. Must be the cellist.

Ray Mason Band - Idiot Wisdom

Larry: Elvis Costello's sillier brother plays bluesy soul that will keep you laughing and dancing.

Darrel: A little soul, blues, and jazz by a singer with little soul, blues or jazz.

Daryl: I liked his old songs like "Mother Invention" and "I'm Just A Bill".

Johnathan Rice - Trouble Is Real

Larry: Stirring, inspirational, orchestrated balladry. Full sound, dumb shaggy hair, stellar voice.

Darrel: Move over Coldplay! Piss off, Damien Rice. Johnathan's the real deal. Watch out world!

Daryl: Good morning shtarshine, the earth shays hello. Thish shinger shoounds shcottish.

Dick: Smoky vocals haunt thickly orchestrated semi-Britpop. Amazing songwriter... much more depth than 21 years allows.

Soltero - The Tongues You Have Tied

Larry: Indie-alt-folk filled with clever lyrics, odd tempo beats and dark moods. Paul Simon on absynthe.

Darrel: That 60's French movie song sucks. Loo-loo-loo is not a proper lyric!

Daryl: Drunk lounge music. Melancholy Nick Drake folk. Leonard Cohen swigging Bombay Sapphire.

Dick: Quirky, brilliant songs brimming with soul and depth. Down tempo, but never boring.

Dum Dum Project - Desi Vibes

Larry: Most watered down dance and raga music ever. Great for background or meditation... maybe.

Darrel: this is what you listen to while waiting for the music to start.

Daryl: Once again, Westerners fuck up some peoples' music. They should hear Kultur Shock.