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The continuing saga of a wholly irreverent new way of reviewing albums! It's like sitting in a room with a bunch of jaded music critics and getting a snapshot of how they feel about an album. Honesty and first impressions are the key to the Bargain Basement.
(opinions expressed may not hold true after repeated listenings to albums)

Aderbat - Man Overboard

Andrew
: Nice, slow pop… like Spoon is kind of depressed. Understated, lovely and full of character.
Augustine: If you're aderbat, you picked the wrong girl. Oasis, Beatles, Al Stewart.
James: Weepy, emotional meek stuff that probably doesn't eat meat or go out in sunlight.
Pauli Girl: Anagram is Bad Tear. State band for a nation of eunichs.

The Atomica Project - Grayscale

Andrew
: Massive Attack style trip-hop vibes. Nice laid-back grooves and brilliant production. Nice voice.
Augustine: Atmospheric, operatic boogie music with vocals dry as my taint.
James: Evannescence, but who gives a shit? I'm learning about drama club right now.
Pauli Girl: Music to take slow drugs to after being in a club all night… really?

The Atomic Atoms - Electrophile

Andrew
: Some dudes trying to be punkish, but winding up alt.country/blues style… a bit droll.
Augustine
: Started out all Libertines if they loved Elvis, but took an odd school talent show turn.
James
: Rockabilly w/ The Go twist.
Pauli Girl
: Wilco wants their riffs back, please.

Eric Avery - Help Wanted

Andrew
: Sounds vaguely Filter-ish, slow, atmospheric and beautiful. Stunning production and brilliant writing. Incredible.
Augustine
: Black Tape For A Blue Girl. No, really. Better than Perry Farrell, but kinda Rat Pack.
James
: Meandering, wonderfully produced, goes nowhere.
Pauli Girl
: Sounds nothing like Janes Addiction… better, though.

Charlie Barnard - Ivory Serpents & The Starving Tree

Andrew
: Like Bob Dylan at times… other times, suck. Excellent lyricist, horrible singer. Sound familiar?
Augustine: Just like Dylan, he's better acoustic. Odd vocal phrasing. I like it real decent.
James: Fucking blue.
Pauli Girl: Listening to this makes you lose muscle control and slump over lifeless.

Be Your Own Pet - Get Awkward

Andrew
: Adolescent Joan Jett pop… gutsy guitars, mathy drumming, angsty garbage. Nice legs.
Augustine: Neurotic punk, which is how No Doubt SHOULD sound. Roller derby beat down.
James: Fun, upbeat girl pop stitched to a punk backbone.
Pauli Girl: Re-imagined Concrete Blonde with less talent but still listen worthy.

Bigelf - Cheat The Gallows

Andrew
: Pink Floyd's orchestration with Ozzy's voice. Some serious musicality wasted on stoners and hessions.
Augustine: Linda Perry worked on this… she gave dude her top hat. Still Turbonegro.
James: Top hats, beards, mega-riffs and pillows made from pelts.
Pauli Girl: This band has grown musically… throwing in more organ and groove and lightening up a bit.

Blood Red Sun - A Nation Of Saviors

Andrew
: Dark and heavy rock/pop… like Soundgarden and Fury, only younger… which means not as good.
Augustine: Simple Joy Division sounds. Singer scrambling for a melody. Decent formerly alternative. Pretty dramatic.
James: A little Afghan Whigs, a little Panic! At The Disco.
Pauli Girl: Fall Out Boy, Atom bomb Kids, Get Up Kids, My Chemical Romance, New York City.

Scott Ellison - Ice Storm

Andrew
: Textbook blues record - great tones, excellent musicianship. Less soul than I want in the blues.
Augustine
: Very standard electric blues. Thought he was taking us to funky town.
James
: Slick blues, punchy percussion and bass.
Pauli Girl
: Everything sounds great except the marbles in dude's mouth. What's he talking about?

Eric Hogg - Origins Unknown

Andrew
: Jellyfish style pop, only darker & more introspective. Brian Wilson-style vocals, nice guitars. Maybe Squeeze.
Augustine: 70's prog-folk. Even Rennies want to give him a turkey leg suppository.
James: Styx & Genesis from Trick Of The Tail era weirdness.
Pauli Girl: Beatles & Focus inspired folk prog. Could grow on you, sorta like Spanish moss.

Johnny Foreigner - Waited Up Til It Was Light

Andrew
: Indie Strokes… only much harder and faster, kind of mathy, horrible girl singer, great drummer.
Augustine: Insane high-energy punk wave. Los Campesinos! Carther The Unstoppable Hell Yeah! Great drumming.
James: Pretty good rock-pop. Totally frantic.
Pauli Girl: Somewhere, there is a support group for all the electrons that were abused to make this.

Oren Lavie - The Opposite Side Of The Sea

Andrew
: Super mellow orchestral pop, similar to Nick Drake or Duncan Sheik. Lush and beautiful.
Augustine
: The Jazz singer/songwriter. Seductive whispering, lively rhythms, soothing atmosphere, fantastic tones.
James
: Not the renowned Satanist I originally mistook him for.
Pauli Girl
: Imagine the bastard love-child of Suzanne Vega and Tom Waits.

Paper Route - Are We All Forgotten

Andrew
: Gritty, indie Postal Service… same cadence & lyrical obscurity… but sings like Coldplay guy. Nice.
Augustine: Sounds like Death Cab unless you like Death Cab. Shmaltzy pop with allman Brothers tendencies.
James: Radioplay, Coldhead.
Pauli Girl: This is like Barry Manilow for the current "emo" age.

Rurik - Re-Education

Andrew
: Semi-industrial noise rock with Broadway flair. Then they turn into Elton John, only mathy.
Augustine: Turbonegro meets Alien Sex Fiend. Bombastic high-speed song collages. Quite right.
James: Mr. Bungle w/ melodies. Heavily influenced by Faith No More. B+.
Pauli Girl: Residents rule, ok?

Rachel Sage - Chandelier

Andrew
: Introspective piano pop with a definite Tori Amos feel… But less obtuse, more listenable.
Augustine: It's nice and all, in a Michelle Branch way. Sweetened artificially with Aspartame.
James: Tori Amos-ish, with a violin - makes me feel like a batterer.
Pauli Girl: Musical equivalent of a chick flick. Overprocessed Tori Amos-ish vocals & violins.

Shift F7 - Crimson Diablo

Andrew
: Dead Artists Syndrome/Gutter Twins with a weird artsy poetry and uber-goth feel. Down-key, trancey.
Augustine: Does for Sisters Of Mercy what the Mansions did for Bauhaus. Very fucking hot.
James: Lots of very cool elements, Type-O Negative & GVSB & Iggy Pop. Spooky & beautiful, really cool.
Pauli Girl: Not only a keystroke that will change what you type to phonetic Japanese, it's cool stream of consciousness spoken & sung originality.

Speaker Speaker - Call It Off

Andrew
: If I were in high school, I would love this. Predictable pop-punk. Sounds good, nice art.
Augustine: High-speed geek rock. Gets the annoying done in half the time.
James: Probably pretty good but I have introduced a theological discussion centered around Krom, the god of the earth.
Pauli Girl: Low budget Rapid Eye Movement. ie. Music for the cranially asleep.


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