32 Leaves - Welcome To The Fall

Bob - Modern rock that does little to distinguish itself. Potential audience won't notice this, though.
Doug - Bland contemporary rock that I could take or leave. Decent enough hooks but doesn't have anything to set it apart.
Hosehead - Another pop / hard rock band that is similar to Staind, but not very original
Brewmeister Smith - Built for radio play. Competent performances and a hard rock feel. Nothing stands out.

Aneuretical - When You Were A Kid

Bob - Pixies' dissonance beats Perry Farrell with a wet Roger Hodgson. Violent Femmes supervise approvingly.
Doug - Sounds like a less organized Modest Mouse. Pretty different and cool though.
Hosehead - Similar to Fall Out Boy in a less experienced sort of way
Brewmeister Smith - Good songs, good rhythm and interesting vocals. Guitar work falls short of the rest.

Ark - Nine Days To No One

Bob - This stuff is supposed to be intense and powerful, so why do I keep checking my watch?
Doug - Seething with intense brutality and motion. Beautiful and devastating.
Hosehead - Terrible chords with constant unintelligible screaming, but if that's what you want…
Brewmeister Smith - Well played & produced with many influences. If I liked hardcore, this is what I'd like.

Bathtub Shitter - Dance Hall Grind

Bob - Only the Japanese can be this crazy. Fucking hilarious and brilliant.
Doug - Okay that's just weird, guy sounds like he's castrated one minute then growls the next.
Hosehead - Sounds like Satan is trying to kill a talking chicken to a soundtrack of death metal
Brewmeister Smith - Muppets got a new metal backup band? Nonsensical, fun and worth a listen.

Bling Kong - Do The Awesome

Bob - So this is what gay over-sexed cheerleaders sound like, I've always wondered.
Doug - Pop-y self-aggrandizing sexually charged goodness. Results may vary. Whoo! Huh?
Hosehead - Mixture of Kim Wilde, B-52s and cheerleading routines. VERY unique!
Brewmeister Smith - Fun, catchy and energetic, with just enough attitude to make it a break-out.

Boy Sets Fire - The Day The Sun Went Out & Before The Eulogy

Bob - Bland screamo from a band that seems to have outlived its usefulness.
Doug - Poor production makes it a cacophony of a recording. Pretty sad when Demos are better than album.
Hosehead - Terrible chord progressions which ruin the entire album
Brewmeister Smith - Wah, I hate everything, so I'll make crappy music. And throw in a Motley Crüe cover.

C - Universum

Bob - Sultry, spoken-word layering of vocals in "Expellant" makes it all worthwhile.
Doug - Rock instrumental music that ebbs and flows with grace and ease. A must hear.
Hosehead - All instrumental band which sounds like Sonic Youth minus the vocals.
Brewmeister Smith - At its best, reminiscent of 80s Rush instrumentals, without the great drum work. Otherwise, uninteresting.

Count Zero - Little Minds

Bob - Imagine if Dave Matthews Band didn't suck. Yeah, like that. Jim White senses a presence in the force.
Doug - Folky lackadaisical rock with a decent mix of keyboards/effects. Very pleasing.
Hosehead - Electronic pop along the same lines as Butthole Surfers and Elvis Costello
Brewmeister Smith - Eclectic and appealing; not straightforward. Samples and lap steel provide good effect.

Engineer - Reproach

Bob - About as interesting as most annual reports I guess, so at least they're being truthful.
Doug - Throat wrenching, monotonous heavy metal that doesn't veer from its draconian vein.
Hosehead - A metal head's wet dream, pure growling to a fast metal no-talent chord progression
Brewmeister Smith - Good metal musicians backing incomprehensible, unchanging vocals, masking fairly well written lyrics. Gets old fast.

The Fantastikol Hole - The Mathematikol

Bob - Weird, French industro-death-metal with 27 tracks written for the ADHD crowd.
Doug - Virtually unlistenable. Sparse and diverse with barely any common threads or themes.
Hosehead - What the hell? Between deep growls and random noise, this was the weirdest CD ever.
Brewmeister Smith - "Interesting" experimental sound. Abbreviated tracks make it sound like someone is just playing around.

Genghis Tron - Cloak Of Love

Bob - Basically an underdeveloped idea. Has its moments of brilliance, but falls flat just as often.
Doug - Artistic fusion of speed-metal and electronica which alternates from beautiful to unpalatable. Interesting though.
Hosehead - Wow is this unique! Metal and electronica taking turns with a pretty cool result
Brewmeister Smith - It woke me up, but wouldn't sit still while I made up my mind.

Honeyhander - Woolly Mannerisms

Bob - Wild, dance-y and Wave-y, but the overlaid distortion should be used sparingly, not continuously.
Doug - Interesting evolution of music, sparse and chaotic, with a delicate thread of meaning.
Hosehead - Has similarities to Depeche Mode, The Cure and Radiohead with a hard edge to it.
Brewmeister Smith - Danceable post-punk tunes with distorted guitars & droning goth vocals. Not very special.

Kidder Kit - Kidder Kit

Bob - Subdued electronica that has potential, but still has its amateur moments.
Doug - Good packaging, but horrible content. Weak effects and production.
Hosehead - Down-tempo mixture of pop and electronica that is kind of like Zero 7 or Transglobal Underground
Brewmeister Smith - What's the point, when its only possible use could be as background for something else?

Mopa - Mopa

Bob - Bland Tool wannabe with occasionally painful vocals that sound off-key.
Doug - Production hinders the accurate translation of this bands' potential. Record it better next time.
Hosehead - Just another Nickelback wannabe with a hint of Tool in there
Brewmeister Smith - Unique heavy sound with talented musicians and vocals. Metal in ¾ kicks ass!

No Idols - Low (Swing The Pyramid Hands)

Bob - Headache medicine. As in, the kind that gives you one.
Doug - Hardcore, heavy metal of the most intense and abrasive kind.
Hosehead - These guys know maybe 10 power chords which they play out of order to a constant scream
Brewmeister Smith - Adequate musicianship and typical hardcore vocals create unoriginal & boring tunes with expected lyrical content.

Nothing Left To Lose - The Last Battle Hymn

Bob - A call to arms for a War of the Cross presented in a musical format. Be wary of the message.
Doug - The unrelenting drummer makes all the songs sound the same.
Hosehead - Typical punk album mixing styles of Bad Religion and Voodoo Glow Skulls minus the ska
Brewmeister Smith - Musically talented punk band, with a good vocalist. Somewhat repetitive, but very crisp.

Numbers - We're Animals

Bob - Reminds me of Twinkie at times, but I'm not really impressed by single-chord songs.
Doug - I should like this but it just comes off as really annoying and repetitive.
Hosehead - Artsy indie pop whose songs are way too long for how plain they are. Boring.
Brewmeister Smith - Noisy, confusing, repetitive and sometimes relaxing. It can't quite decide what it wants to be.

Oxford Collapse - A Good Ground

Bob - Sounds like a bar band in a college town; a big fish in a little pond.
Doug - Weak and slightly predictable in a hippy straining for the notes sort-of way.
Hosehead - Vocals like the Flaming Lips, and too much cymbal action, sounds like a Zildjian commercial

Pio Mazzotti - Teenie Fantastic

Bob - Vocalist sounds like Kat Bjelland occasionally, but not as scary. Echoes of Paul Leary's guitar.
Doug - All over the place, missing discernable structure. Pieces are good, whole is lacking.
Hosehead - Too busy! Sounds like hard rock tracks which have been rearranged in the wrong order.
Brewmeister Smith - It's loud, confusing, and thoroughly enjoyable.

Pistola - Hold For Bliss

Bob - Don't throw out the singer yet. She just needs some voice coaching. Seriously.
Doug - This band rocks. If the lead singer wasn't tone deaf, I could highly recommend it.
Hosehead - Some songs similar to Filter with a good beat, but miserable vocals
Brewmeister Smith - Great guitars and drums ruined by lousy vocals.

The Plus Ones - Oh Me Of Little Faith

Bob - San Fran pop-rock band that brings more smarts and savy to the table than I expected.
Doug - Excellent, smooth vibes and witty writing. All around good band and album.
Hosehead - An upbeat mixture of Phantom Planet and Weezer with that California pop sound. Great listening!
Brewmeister Smith - Must hear. Addictively good, without the bad aftertaste most pop has today.

Some Girls - Heaven's Pregnant Teens

Bob - Some decent riffs and changeups, but one song sounds much like the others.
Doug - Like a less refined The Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower. This supergroup of underground bands' is hit and miss
Hosehead - Some decent punk/metal rhythms and chords, but overall kind of lame
Brewmeister Smith - Hardcore that's probably too crisp and over-produced for its own good.

Sono Oto - I'm In August Until July

Bob - Weak, wavering vocals in a house/lounge act that I first thought a farce, but no, it's serious.
Doug - You can't get much gay-er than "Butterflies Need Mending"
Hosehead - Laid back, weak vocals, pop-ish with some jazz influence, terrible lyrics.
Brewmeister Smith - Like watching golf, it's good for napping. Light and melodic. Keep the NoDoz handy.

Terminus Victor - Under Surveillance

Bob - Does, says, all the right things, but lacking in intensity. Turning volume up doesn't help.
Doug - Good simple licks like early Chemlab. So close to perfection, it leaves me wanting more.
Hosehead - Industrial rock similar to Nine Inch Nails which is great in places, but drags on a bit.
Brewmeister Smith - An immature Tool with a bit of Nine Inch Nails. Some good stuff here.

Tolchock Trio - Ghosts Don't Have Bones

Bob - Jammy, acid-garage-rock with evocations of The Doors and Jefferson Airplane. Moments of brilliance, but drags in places.
Doug - Like Radiohead on drugs… well, worse drugs. Still pretty cool though.
Hosehead - Like a modern mix of rhythm and blues riffs with modern (very) alternative rock
Brewmeister Smith - Good tunes with simple production. Well packaged and entertaining with occasional, appropriately applied, dissonance.

Vorpal - An Incomplete Guide To Vorpal Music

Bob - The endless skipping, sampling and scratching interrupts the flow so much it becomes unlistenable.
Doug - A gnarled version of Autochre, the soundtrack of a techno seizure.
Hosehead - These guys are trying to be experimental with their sounds, but ended up just being weird.