Amestory - Amestory

Rocky: Really light slow-down rock, reminiscent of slower Badly Drawn Boy. Cool melancholy music, weird vocals.
Rocky II: Gay, by that I mean happy. The only things happier are the happy ass fans.
Rocky III: Highly talented 9th grade indie band. You know, for kids.
Rocky IV: Not bad if you like one-note wonder bands. In need of maturing.

Aqueduct - I Sold Gold

Rocky: The best lo-fi almost-rock record of 2005. Excellent beats, cool grooves and brilliant lyrics.
Rocky II: It's everything right. Clever production, playing lyrics. Somehow like Gary Numan… not prog-metal.
Rocky III: Interesting electronic rock - really cool.
Rocky IV: Franz Ferdinand meets The Postal Service with awesome results.

Badi Assad - Verde

Rocky: Absolutely fucking brilliant. A Triumph for Brazilian music. From samba to full-on hardcore flamenco, excellent!
Rocky II: I am so turned on right now, can I put my hand here? Very sultry.
Rocky III: Great voice - strong and sturdy… not breathy. Great music.
Rocky IV: The Brazilian songs are awesome ass-shaking romps. Oh yeah, and she is hot!

James Blunt - Back To Bedlam

Rocky: Dynamic classic-sounding rock music. Really, really well produced - brilliant melodies & tight harmonies. Also, great songs.
Rocky II: The grandchild of Cat Stevens & Joan Armatrading, Rod Stweart & Macy Gray. Fascinating.
Rocky III: Meh. Not so good androgynous rock. Too much like Elton John.
Rocky IV: I am not a fan of Elton John and I am not a fan of James Blunt.

Bonney & Buzz - Rock-ola

Rocky: Beautiful chill-out surf music. Excellent arranging, superb musicianship, amazing tones. This record is a must have!
Rocky II: Duane Eddie meets Santo & Johnny. Sweet experiments in badass bass & baritone. Awesome!
Rocky III: Nice! The songs are classic and tell a great story without words.
Rocky IV: A sizzling Morricone instrumental soundtrack for your life. Fucking rocks.

Chris Bono - Ten Senators And The Rebel Son

Rocky: The alt-country Collective Soul. Very well produced, powerful pop music - bits of Jackopierce, Springsteen, Mayer.
Rocky II: The stoner boogie is hot. The John Cougar, U2, Van Halen & crooning is confusing.
Rocky III: Super non-pop potential. Currently hard to market, not easily classifiable.
Rocky IV: Should stick with the country and drop the pop. The first song is sweeeeet.

Ronnie Bowman - It's Getting' Better All The Time

Rocky: Awesome new-grass set. Spectacular voice on beautiful songs, brilliant playing, tons of heart. Just awesome.
Rocky II: Gentle & Sweet, then lively. Great banjo and mandolin… Prime. Dance and smile.
Rocky III: Nice balance of vocals with banjo… doesn't seem forced, seems very eveolved.
Rocky IV: A well formulated and produced bluegrass record definitely worth a listen.

Breadfoot (feat. Anna Phoebe) - Tea With Leo

Rocky: Dirgey backwoods folk instrumental duo - very nice guitar playing amidst soaring fiddle… banjo's good, too.
Rocky II: Anna Phoebe plays some nice, sorrowful fiddle, but boring guitar alt-country is dead.
Rocky III: Nice, won't rock. Too sweet to rock. Lovemaking to somebody who likes horses.
Rocky IV: The soundtrack to one of those Neu-Western TV shows.

The Burning Effigies - Pipe Dream

Rocky: Seventies sex music rip-off… not dancey enough for disco, not deep enough for soul.
Rocky II: Jamiroquai, but even worse. Love Inc. goddamn disco. I wanna do it binary style.
Rocky III: Horrible, poetic porn. You like my big cock, don'tcha? You want my big cock? No?
Rocky IV: Beck's reject 70's riff stealing cousins - kissing cousins.

Josh Cole & The Household - Hypocriticool

Rocky: Surprisingly rocking for its artwork… nice songs, cool arrangements. Lots of good beginnings to grow.
Rocky II: Urban folk from a dude who thinks John Lennon is punk. The male Ani DiFranco.
Rocky III: A little folk, a little Stones, a little X…. and more than a little cool.
Rocky IV: I can't get past the production on this CD. It is inconsistent and mostly crap.

The Cubby Creatures - After The Deprogramming

Rocky: Very cool new SF psychedelia - lots of strangeness, vibe and wild violin. I dig this!
Rocky II: Wow! Bowie meets Love & Rockets with violins and not prog-metal. So cool, it's sick.
Rocky III: Grooving in a cave with a stark, solemn pict… a pict with a fiddle.
Rocky IV: Artistic music - rock for the 80's nerd masses.

Thomas Cunningham & The Locofocos - Swell

Rocky: Groovy acoustic guitar based hippy rock - very G. Love, tons of words, tons of vibe.
Rocky II: Jamiroquai white hippy rap… and that's the good part. Also, Spin Doctors, dipwad.
Rocky III: NY, LA… you name it, this stuff is rampant and uninteresting. Keep spoken word at home.
Rocky IV: How many G. Loves can there be? Well, if you've been counting, add another mark.

Demander - Demander

Rocky: Solid rock music. High energy and excellent playing… like X on super ballsy steroids.
Rocky II: X-ray Specs and Babes In Toyland. Explosive and nice, low end hot shit.
Rocky III: Sleater Kinney without the bleating sheep vocals. Me likey very much.
Rocky IV: Mid-90's chick vocals over ass kicking rhythm section.

Diamond Nights - Popsicle

Rocky: What Franz Ferdinand is to BeeGees, this band is to Led Zeppelin and Sabbath.
Rocky II: Good musicians who like shitty 70's glam, Zep & GNFNR. Very silly, comic theater.
Rocky III: A hair band time capsule… Cheap Trick, Badlands, Van Halen… Open it and smell Aquanet.
Rocky IV: Rock me, shock me, make me ask for more. Big hair is back!

Dian Diaz - Dian Diaz

Rocky: Finely produced pop-RnB. She's a fine voice, and an even finer face. A bit Disney, though.
Rocky II: Sounds like really bad R'n'B Christmas music.
Rocky III: terrible, terrible, terrible R&B. She's hot but really commercial… straight to DVD.
Rocky IV: This chick is fucking hot… oh, her music is generic, but okay, because she's hot!

Doom Kounty Electric Chair - Cuban Head Killers

Rocky: Crispy punkabilly built on great riffing. Borrows from The Cult. Some real fine guitar work.
Rocky II: Metall-billy Misfits Southern Nugent cock-punk. Sucks, but sucks large.
Rocky III: Fun stuff! I imagine they blow the roof off playing live. Yee Haw!
Rocky IV: Hard rocking band that needs more crunchy low-end to make the ears bleed properly.

Field Notes - Color Of Sunshine

Rocky: Possibly the best indie record of the year… excellent songs, fine guitars & brilliant lyrics.
Rocky II: Simple is nice, repetitive makes me want to break your windows with your face.
Rocky III: Very cool. Awesome highway driving music if I had a car. Hence the name… multi-layered.
Rocky IV: Great album that is truly indie-alt-rock that isn't too indie or too alternative.

Ham1 - Ham1

Rocky: Lo-fi orchestral rock like Beck without the commercial overtones… really excellent musicianship, great writing.
Rocky II: 2 dumb cool guys making dumb cool music… Except it's only 1 guy.
Rocky III: Good picnic music.
Rocky IV: Really, really good.

The Kola Koca Death Squad - self-titled

Rocky: Thick rock and fucking roll music. Dynamic arrangements, great guitars and fascinating songs. Slow punk.
Rocky II: Hard glam sleazy Bowie in the closet with Jagger. Like eating yogurt naked… good.
Rocky III: Grungey, Girls Vs. Boys-ish earnest & sincere rock n' roll.
Rocky IV: A "the" band… poorly described.

Liquid Carousel - In A Moment Of Clarity

Rocky: Heavier college rock a-la Something Happens, Soul Asylum - very Northwest, but timeless qualities. Pretty good.
Rocky II: Soap opera rock - a lot of fake emotion about absolutely nothing. See Journey, Loverboy.
Rocky III: Toad The Wet Sprocket for 2005! I would never spend $ on it, or download it free.
Rocky IV: Sounds like Descendents to me… well, one of the guy's cat is named Milo!

The Looking - Tin Can Head

Rocky: Grand high art English-style rock - airy falsetto vocals over solid arpeggiated guitar rock. Awesome.
Rocky II: Echo & The Bunnymen with weary guitars and nice piano. Moz is a dumb nickname.
Rocky III: Fucking photo radar van… Boring, weak. Sounds like Morrissey without being as gay or interesting.
Rocky IV: One of those mellow "mature" indie bands.

Lovewhip - Virtual Booty Machine

Rocky: A fun Kraftwerk/Echobelly hybrid. Techno sex songs, too many remixes - some groovy stuff.
Rocky II: Music by the dorks from Weird Science. Girls singing about sex should be hot, but it ain't.
Rocky III: Hints at Lords Of Acid, but more PG-13. A little too Eurotrash for me.
Rocky IV: A spearmint twin singing Lil' Kim lyrics over less talented Depeche Mode keyboards.

Lydia - This December; It's One More And I'm Free

Rocky: Dueling vocals, atmospheric & lush rock by Connor Oberst protégés. Very moody and beautiful. Cool.
Rocky II: Squashed, breathy vocals, overdramatic and odd pronunciations. Life's so hard in OC Hill.
Rocky III: Not so good - dual vocals are distracting for the most part. Dig the artwork.
Rocky IV: Just as bad as Bright Eyes and twice as overproduced.

Jason Marbach - She Drove

Rocky: The po' man's George Strait. Good beginnings, good ideas, needs some maturing. Great start.
Rocky II: Damn good! Nice steel, good voice, fine fiddling. The lyrics need help.
Rocky III: Grows on me. Could be a great honky tonk crossover. Texas song is sucky.
Rocky IV: Better production and a bit more time for maturing and I expect something very interesting.

Steven Mark - Aloneaphobe

Rocky: Brilliant mid-beat pop, Jules Shear style. Excellent melodies, pristine parts, very solid songwriting. Really nice.
Rocky II: Don't fear the reaper, doooood. But with creepy Oliver vocals.
Rocky III: Aimee actually becomes a Mann.
Rocky IV: Better than average Beatles drivel rock.

Metric - Live It Out!

Rocky: Fucking brilliant! The best bad guitar player, throttling drummer, excellent & powerful female vocalist. Need more!
Rocky II: This kills! Like Curve with cleaner guitars. Psych-out artists.
Rocky III: Pretty good. Seems there are some points that need development.
Rocky IV: A solid, mindless alt-rock band that has you rocking out in confused satisfaction.

Portastatic - Bright Ideas

Rocky: Exactly as it should be. Bright songs, well written, awesome guitars, strong rhythms - simply perfect!
Rocky II: Lousy clichés and rip-offs of Edwin McCain singing tiny. Yes, tiny singing.
Rocky III: Lonely, feel sorry for yourself rock. Buffalo Tom with Hurt.
Rocky IV: Cookie-cutter rock that could be found in any Austin bar on any given night.

Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures

Rocky: Equal parts Death Cab & Beatles, Rogue Wave creates lush modern rock with huge, tuneful soul.
Rocky II: Psychedelic wave. The Three O'Clock with real nice swells. Sassy.
Rocky III: Secretive pot-smoking with the sushi crowd.
Rocky IV: Look for these guys on the next hip mid-sized sedan commercial!

Rooftop Suicide Club - Always Like This

Rocky: Poppy, thick rock. Matthew Sweet but more straightforward. Best artwork for 2005.
Rocky II: Seems to be losing membership, but I won't join any club that would have me.
Rocky III: Good pop melodies, nice mix, great tones. Professional recording without being slick… no acceleration.
Rocky IV: Generic high-pitched off-key singing over generic indie pop guitar.

The Rosebuds - Birds Make Good Neighbors

Rocky: The best parts of 80's rock updated… really great melodies and playing. Dark, dirgey, beautiful.
Rocky II: They're sleds.
Rocky IV: Imagine your favorite 80's band, but much better. Rocking mellowness.

The Runs - Wet Sounds

Rocky: Primitive garage punk with intelligent lyrics, bad guitar tones but good riffs, driving drums. Diggy.
Rocky II: Slightly-annoyed Samoans. Funny ideas, but lackluster singing. "Bought & Sold" rocks.
Rocky III: Fun, stupid punk. Very obvious Ramones influence.
Rocky IV: Very reminiscent of very early Bad Brains - pre reggae.

The Southland - Influence Of Geography

Rocky: Near-Britpop Ameri-indie rock. Emo power riffs, good rhythmic interplay, nice atmospheric moments. Cool artwork.
Rocky II: A nineties version of The Lettermen. V-neck sweater dickies… Embarassingly enjoyable, like Paul Williams.
Rocky III: My stoic subway music - lacks highs and lows. I like it in doses.
Rocky IV: I would guess that this band would be better live… CD needs better production.

Amilia K. Spicer - Seamless

Rocky: Very good, moody female vocalist - great songs, downbeat pop. Brilliantly produced… really nice, superbly folkish.
Rocky II: She's sitting on top of the world, looking down on creation.
Rocky III: Blue blah makes me think I can write music, too. Maybe Nora gone country style.
Rocky IV: Not nearly as good as her obvious influences.

TOK - Unknown Language

Rocky: Brilliant reggae hip-hop - fantastic rhythms and dub vocal breaks. Perfect summertime beach house music.
Rocky II: Great when the boy-band R'N'B doesn't fucker it. Deep beats & dancehall rap.
Rocky III: Clean house music, in PJs with blinds on the windows. Looks like Color Me Bad. Dig.
Rocky IV: Made a room full of white kids get up and shake ass. Is that good or bad?