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The continuing saga of a wholly irreverent new way of reviewing albums! It's like sitting in a room with a bunch of jaded music critics and getting a snapshot of how they feel about an album. Honesty and first impressions are the key to the Bargain Basement.
(opinions expressed may not hold true after repeated listenings to albums)

Amestory - Amestory

Rocky
: Really light slow-down rock, reminiscent of slower Badly Drawn Boy. Cool melancholy music, weird vocals.
Rocky II: Gay, by that I mean happy. The only things happier are the happy ass fans.
Rocky III: Highly talented 9th grade indie band. You know, for kids.
Rocky IV: Not bad if you like one-note wonder bands. In need of maturing.

Aqueduct - I Sold Gold

Rocky
: The best lo-fi almost-rock record of 2005. Excellent beats, cool grooves and brilliant lyrics.
Rocky II: It's everything right. Clever production, playing lyrics. Somehow like Gary Numan… not prog-metal.
Rocky III: Interesting electronic rock - really cool.
Rocky IV: Franz Ferdinand meets The Postal Service with awesome results.

Badi Assad - Verde

Rocky
: Absolutely fucking brilliant. A Triumph for Brazilian music. From samba to full-on hardcore flamenco, excellent!
Rocky II: I am so turned on right now, can I put my hand here? Very sultry.
Rocky III: Great voice - strong and sturdy… not breathy. Great music.
Rocky IV: The Brazilian songs are awesome ass-shaking romps. Oh yeah, and she is hot!

James Blunt - Back To Bedlam

Rocky
: Dynamic classic-sounding rock music. Really, really well produced - brilliant melodies & tight harmonies. Also, great songs.
Rocky II: The grandchild of Cat Stevens & Joan Armatrading, Rod Stweart & Macy Gray. Fascinating.
Rocky III: Meh. Not so good androgynous rock. Too much like Elton John.
Rocky IV: I am not a fan of Elton John and I am not a fan of James Blunt.

Bonney & Buzz - Rock-ola

Rocky
: Beautiful chill-out surf music. Excellent arranging, superb musicianship, amazing tones. This record is a must have!
Rocky II: Duane Eddie meets Santo & Johnny. Sweet experiments in badass bass & baritone. Awesome!
Rocky III: Nice! The songs are classic and tell a great story without words.
Rocky IV: A sizzling Morricone instrumental soundtrack for your life. Fucking rocks.

Chris Bono - Ten Senators And The Rebel Son

Rocky
: The alt-country Collective Soul. Very well produced, powerful pop music - bits of Jackopierce, Springsteen, Mayer.
Rocky II: The stoner boogie is hot. The John Cougar, U2, Van Halen & crooning is confusing.
Rocky III: Super non-pop potential. Currently hard to market, not easily classifiable.
Rocky IV: Should stick with the country and drop the pop. The first song is sweeeeet.

Ronnie Bowman - It's Getting' Better All The Time

Rocky
: Awesome new-grass set. Spectacular voice on beautiful songs, brilliant playing, tons of heart. Just awesome.
Rocky II: Gentle & Sweet, then lively. Great banjo and mandolin… Prime. Dance and smile.
Rocky III: Nice balance of vocals with banjo… doesn't seem forced, seems very eveolved.
Rocky IV: A well formulated and produced bluegrass record definitely worth a listen.

Breadfoot (feat. Anna Phoebe) - Tea With Leo

Rocky
: Dirgey backwoods folk instrumental duo - very nice guitar playing amidst soaring fiddle… banjo's good, too.
Rocky II: Anna Phoebe plays some nice, sorrowful fiddle, but boring guitar alt-country is dead.
Rocky III: Nice, won't rock. Too sweet to rock. Lovemaking to somebody who likes horses.
Rocky IV: The soundtrack to one of those Neu-Western TV shows.

The Burning Effigies - Pipe Dream

Rocky
: Seventies sex music rip-off… not dancey enough for disco, not deep enough for soul.
Rocky II: Jamiroquai, but even worse. Love Inc. goddamn disco. I wanna do it binary style.
Rocky III: Horrible, poetic porn. You like my big cock, don'tcha? You want my big cock? No?
Rocky IV: Beck's reject 70's riff stealing cousins - kissing cousins.

Josh Cole & The Household - Hypocriticool

Rocky
: Surprisingly rocking for its artwork… nice songs, cool arrangements. Lots of good beginnings to grow.
Rocky II: Urban folk from a dude who thinks John Lennon is punk. The male Ani DiFranco.
Rocky III: A little folk, a little Stones, a little X…. and more than a little cool.
Rocky IV: I can't get past the production on this CD. It is inconsistent and mostly crap.

The Cubby Creatures - After The Deprogramming

Rocky
: Very cool new SF psychedelia - lots of strangeness, vibe and wild violin. I dig this!
Rocky II: Wow! Bowie meets Love & Rockets with violins and not prog-metal. So cool, it's sick.
Rocky III: Grooving in a cave with a stark, solemn pict… a pict with a fiddle.
Rocky IV: Artistic music - rock for the 80's nerd masses.

Thomas Cunningham & The Locofocos - Swell

Rocky
: Groovy acoustic guitar based hippy rock - very G. Love, tons of words, tons of vibe.
Rocky II: Jamiroquai white hippy rap… and that's the good part. Also, Spin Doctors, dipwad.
Rocky III: NY, LA… you name it, this stuff is rampant and uninteresting. Keep spoken word at home.
Rocky IV: How many G. Loves can there be? Well, if you've been counting, add another mark.

Demander - Demander

Rocky
: Solid rock music. High energy and excellent playing… like X on super ballsy steroids.
Rocky II: X-ray Specs and Babes In Toyland. Explosive and nice, low end hot shit.
Rocky III: Sleater Kinney without the bleating sheep vocals. Me likey very much.
Rocky IV: Mid-90's chick vocals over ass kicking rhythm section.

Diamond Nights - Popsicle

Rocky
: What Franz Ferdinand is to BeeGees, this band is to Led Zeppelin and Sabbath.
Rocky II: Good musicians who like shitty 70's glam, Zep & GNFNR. Very silly, comic theater.
Rocky III: A hair band time capsule… Cheap Trick, Badlands, Van Halen… Open it and smell Aquanet.
Rocky IV: Rock me, shock me, make me ask for more. Big hair is back!

Dian Diaz - Dian Diaz

Rocky
: Finely produced pop-RnB. She's a fine voice, and an even finer face. A bit Disney, though.
Rocky II: Sounds like really bad R'n'B Christmas music.
Rocky III: terrible, terrible, terrible R&B. She's hot but really commercial… straight to DVD.
Rocky IV: This chick is fucking hot… oh, her music is generic, but okay, because she's hot!

Doom Kounty Electric Chair - Cuban Head Killers

Rocky
: Crispy punkabilly built on great riffing. Borrows from The Cult. Some real fine guitar work.
Rocky II: Metall-billy Misfits Southern Nugent cock-punk. Sucks, but sucks large.
Rocky III: Fun stuff! I imagine they blow the roof off playing live. Yee Haw!
Rocky IV: Hard rocking band that needs more crunchy low-end to make the ears bleed properly.

Field Notes - Color Of Sunshine

Rocky
: Possibly the best indie record of the year… excellent songs, fine guitars & brilliant lyrics.
Rocky II: Simple is nice, repetitive makes me want to break your windows with your face.
Rocky III: Very cool. Awesome highway driving music if I had a car. Hence the name… multi-layered.
Rocky IV: Great album that is truly indie-alt-rock that isn't too indie or too alternative.

Ham1 - Ham1

Rocky
: Lo-fi orchestral rock like Beck without the commercial overtones… really excellent musicianship, great writing.
Rocky II: 2 dumb cool guys making dumb cool music… Except it's only 1 guy.
Rocky III: Good picnic music.
Rocky IV: Really, really good.

The Kola Koca Death Squad - self-titled

Rocky
: Thick rock and fucking roll music. Dynamic arrangements, great guitars and fascinating songs. Slow punk.
Rocky II: Hard glam sleazy Bowie in the closet with Jagger. Like eating yogurt naked… good.
Rocky III: Grungey, Girls Vs. Boys-ish earnest & sincere rock n' roll.
Rocky IV: A "the" band… poorly described.

Liquid Carousel - In A Moment Of Clarity

Rocky
: Heavier college rock a-la Something Happens, Soul Asylum - very Northwest, but timeless qualities. Pretty good.
Rocky II: Soap opera rock - a lot of fake emotion about absolutely nothing. See Journey, Loverboy.
Rocky III: Toad The Wet Sprocket for 2005! I would never spend $ on it, or download it free.
Rocky IV: Sounds like Descendents to me… well, one of the guy's cat is named Milo!

The Looking - Tin Can Head

Rocky
: Grand high art English-style rock - airy falsetto vocals over solid arpeggiated guitar rock. Awesome.
Rocky II: Echo & The Bunnymen with weary guitars and nice piano. Moz is a dumb nickname.
Rocky III: Fucking photo radar van… Boring, weak. Sounds like Morrissey without being as gay or interesting.
Rocky IV: One of those mellow "mature" indie bands.

Lovewhip - Virtual Booty Machine

Rocky
: A fun Kraftwerk/Echobelly hybrid. Techno sex songs, too many remixes - some groovy stuff.
Rocky II: Music by the dorks from Weird Science. Girls singing about sex should be hot, but it ain't.
Rocky III: Hints at Lords Of Acid, but more PG-13. A little too Eurotrash for me.
Rocky IV: A spearmint twin singing Lil' Kim lyrics over less talented Depeche Mode keyboards.

Lydia - This December; It's One More And I'm Free

Rocky
: Dueling vocals, atmospheric & lush rock by Connor Oberst protégés. Very moody and beautiful. Cool.
Rocky II: Squashed, breathy vocals, overdramatic and odd pronunciations. Life's so hard in OC Hill.
Rocky III: Not so good - dual vocals are distracting for the most part. Dig the artwork.
Rocky IV: Just as bad as Bright Eyes and twice as overproduced.

Jason Marbach - She Drove

Rocky
: The po' man's George Strait. Good beginnings, good ideas, needs some maturing. Great start.
Rocky II: Damn good! Nice steel, good voice, fine fiddling. The lyrics need help.
Rocky III: Grows on me. Could be a great honky tonk crossover. Texas song is sucky.
Rocky IV: Better production and a bit more time for maturing and I expect something very interesting.

Steven Mark - Aloneaphobe

Rocky
: Brilliant mid-beat pop, Jules Shear style. Excellent melodies, pristine parts, very solid songwriting. Really nice.
Rocky II: Don't fear the reaper, doooood. But with creepy Oliver vocals.
Rocky III: Aimee actually becomes a Mann.
Rocky IV: Better than average Beatles drivel rock.

Metric - Live It Out!

Rocky
: Fucking brilliant! The best bad guitar player, throttling drummer, excellent & powerful female vocalist. Need more!
Rocky II: This kills! Like Curve with cleaner guitars. Psych-out artists.
Rocky III: Pretty good. Seems there are some points that need development.
Rocky IV: A solid, mindless alt-rock band that has you rocking out in confused satisfaction.

Portastatic - Bright Ideas

Rocky
: Exactly as it should be. Bright songs, well written, awesome guitars, strong rhythms - simply perfect!
Rocky II: Lousy clichés and rip-offs of Edwin McCain singing tiny. Yes, tiny singing.
Rocky III: Lonely, feel sorry for yourself rock. Buffalo Tom with Hurt.
Rocky IV: Cookie-cutter rock that could be found in any Austin bar on any given night.

Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures

Rocky
: Equal parts Death Cab & Beatles, Rogue Wave creates lush modern rock with huge, tuneful soul.
Rocky II: Psychedelic wave. The Three O'Clock with real nice swells. Sassy.
Rocky III: Secretive pot-smoking with the sushi crowd.
Rocky IV: Look for these guys on the next hip mid-sized sedan commercial!

Rooftop Suicide Club - Always Like This

Rocky
: Poppy, thick rock. Matthew Sweet but more straightforward. Best artwork for 2005.
Rocky II: Seems to be losing membership, but I won't join any club that would have me.
Rocky III: Good pop melodies, nice mix, great tones. Professional recording without being slick… no acceleration.
Rocky IV: Generic high-pitched off-key singing over generic indie pop guitar.

The Rosebuds - Birds Make Good Neighbors

Rocky
: The best parts of 80's rock updated… really great melodies and playing. Dark, dirgey, beautiful.
Rocky II: They're sleds.
Rocky IV: Imagine your favorite 80's band, but much better. Rocking mellowness.

The Runs - Wet Sounds

Rocky
: Primitive garage punk with intelligent lyrics, bad guitar tones but good riffs, driving drums. Diggy.
Rocky II: Slightly-annoyed Samoans. Funny ideas, but lackluster singing. "Bought & Sold" rocks.
Rocky III: Fun, stupid punk. Very obvious Ramones influence.
Rocky IV: Very reminiscent of very early Bad Brains - pre reggae.

The Southland - Influence Of Geography

Rocky
: Near-Britpop Ameri-indie rock. Emo power riffs, good rhythmic interplay, nice atmospheric moments. Cool artwork.
Rocky II: A nineties version of The Lettermen. V-neck sweater dickies… Embarassingly enjoyable, like Paul Williams.
Rocky III: My stoic subway music - lacks highs and lows. I like it in doses.
Rocky IV: I would guess that this band would be better live… CD needs better production.

Amilia K. Spicer - Seamless

Rocky
: Very good, moody female vocalist - great songs, downbeat pop. Brilliantly produced… really nice, superbly folkish.
Rocky II: She's sitting on top of the world, looking down on creation.
Rocky III: Blue blah makes me think I can write music, too. Maybe Nora gone country style.
Rocky IV: Not nearly as good as her obvious influences.

TOK - Unknown Language

Rocky
: Brilliant reggae hip-hop - fantastic rhythms and dub vocal breaks. Perfect summertime beach house music.
Rocky II: Great when the boy-band R'N'B doesn't fucker it. Deep beats & dancehall rap.
Rocky III: Clean house music, in PJs with blinds on the windows. Looks like Color Me Bad. Dig.
Rocky IV: Made a room full of white kids get up and shake ass. Is that good or bad?

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