"I swore I would love you till the end of time
An Open Letter to the Two Remaining
It is with the silent grief of a hundred empty opera houses that
this letter finds you - every condolence and comforting prayer has
accompanied you since the passing of Luciano Pavarotti and
hopefully your anguish has subsided today. There is nothing that
can lessen the impact of losing not only the world's most famous
tenor but a peer, friend and collaborator, and yet it is with the
utmost respect that history begs you to continue on as a threesome.
Why a threesome? While duos have undoubtedly made profound contributions
to the world of music (Rodgers & Hammerstein, Lennon
& McCartney, Simon & Garfunkel, Jagger &
Richards, Morvan & Pilatus) the loss of one member
is very final and damaging to not only the bypassed partner but
the newly fledged solo artist as well. What solo album by any of
these artists is independently outstanding as compared to the work
crafted in collaboration? None of these - and that is why the magic
of a duo is tremulous and doomed from inception.
No sirs, much as outstanding toothpaste must fight gingivitis,
prevent tooth decay AND whiten teeth so it goes with music that
a threesome is always more sound with the following simple reasoning
- as partnerships, the level of commitment defined to one another
in a threesome makes it doubly difficult to leave (The Andrews
Sisters, Hanson, The Beastie Boys). Think beyond
music and you will see that the greatest collaborations in the history
of not only music but the human history of the earth involve threesomes.
Whether it was for world war (Hitler, Mussolini & Emperor Hirohito),
world dominance (Roosevelt, Churchill & Stalin), world peace
(Carter, Begin & Saddat), world salvation (The Three Wise Men)
or world takeover (Non, Zod & Ursa), a triumvirate has always
proved spectacular while the very fatal flaw of duo has been more
Please re-consider adding a third tenor and continuing your legacy.
Difficult as it may seem to believe, there is a worthy replacement
- an over-achieving student of opera who has been overlooked for
far too long. Please consider the great American tenor Meatloaf
as an almost suitable replacement for Mr. Pavarotti. While understandably
nobody will ever be able to fully replace Mr. Pavarotti, Mr. Loaf
sizes up well for the task. One listen to "Paradise by the
Dashboard Light" or "I Would Do Anything for Love (But
I Won't Do that)" and you will both recognize that Mr. Loaf
cares not one whit for rock 'n roll convention, never limiting himself
to 4, 5, or even 12 minutes per song. Meatloaf would allow the rich
tradition of the Three Tenors to continue - slightly changed - but
no worse for the next generation who are just now beginning to understand
the majesty and power of opera.
Should you choose to audition Meatloaf, your exposure to the fickle
winds of popular culture would further shape your legacy while your
place in history's greatest voices, cemented long ago, would be
admired from beyond. It is what Pavarotti himself would have wanted.
Also, you should consider taking the stage by motorcycles.
-William Cadillac Donovan
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