SCARY MOVIE 2
Dimension Films Official Site
Director: Keenan Ivory Wayans
Producers: Harvey and Bob Weinstein
Writers: The Brothers Wayans, Greg Grabianski, David Polsky, Micheal Anthony
Snowden, Alison Fouse
Starring: Anna Faris, Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Christopher Masterson, Tim
Curry, David Cross
Rating: out of 5
What is it about the sequel that confounds the modern filmmaker? Is it really
that difficult to make lightning strike twice? I know it can be done, and
done well I might add; I've seen THE GODFATHER, PART II and THE EMPIRE
STRIKES BACK. Hell, even THE BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN was a delightful
romp. But by and large, most sequels end up being punchlines in film critics'
oh-so-witty reviews (see BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN). I suppose if one had to
pin down the exact cause of the dreaded "Sequel-itis," it would be the
pressure. And not the good, clean athletic kind of pressure that makes people
achieve excellence in fields such as baseball and pro-Scrabble. No, it's the
bad, scary kind of pressure that involves a lot of people's money and time.
And under this heavy burden, good men and women crumble and fall, bringing to
the table only half a film, if that. You know the drill: The script is
hastily put together, the director never really gets the shots he wants, the
actors are in their trailers rolling in the piles of money and cocaine they
have been given (I assume). It's just not a healthy enviroment for creativity
So it is with a heavy heart that I give you, not a review, but a eulogy for
the latest victim of the aforementioned disease, SCARY MOVIE 2. Now, I
genuinely liked SCARY MOVIE. It was funny, pretty damn smart and full of
witty parody and spoofery. Recalling the glory days of the
Zucker-Abrams-Zucker films, it made me laugh harder than I have in a long
time. And I felt saved. Okay, maybe that's being over-dramatic. It was funny
and, for my hard-earned cash, that's all I can really ask for. So when I
heard that a sequel was on it's way, I was excited. Some might even say I was
giddy, but I think that's really none of your business. But after seeing
SCARY MOVIE 2, my mood has clouded, taking on the appearance of a stormy day
Not to mince words, but SCARY MOVIE 2 sucked. Hard. In its entire
90-minute running time, I laughed exactly five times. Not good, from-the-gut
laughs, either. A nice chuckle was about the best I could muster. The actual
number of supposed jokes, by the way, is something I can't take away from
the film. It's absolutely loaded with them. They come at you from the left.
They come flying in from the right. Overhead, sneaking up behind, sort-of
diagonal ¶ the
jokes never stop rolling in. Which would be great except that they're not
funny. No, sadly, they just make you tired. While I was watching this
cinematic Air Show disaster, trying to stay lucid and focused, one phrase
kept repeating itself over and over in my mind: "What a waste." There are a
lot of pretty talented people up there on the screen, people such as Tim
Curry, Anna Faris (whom I find cute as a button) and David Cross, he of "Mr.
Show" fame. It's truly sad to see Cross, a gifted comedian, in a mess like
this, but one hopes he was paid well and went out and bought himself
The biggest problem that this movie had going for it was its inability to
read the audience. After the first movie, all the critics, all the fans,
everybody said, "It was so funny, and hey the gross-out jokes were neat." For
some reason, they creators only picked up on the latter half of that
sentence. This movie is wall-to-wall sight gags involving urine, semen,
vomit, spit and poo. The gross-out material is unnecessary to say the least
and downright repellent to say the most. Don't get me wrong, I love a good
fart joke as much as the next 20-year-old male, but hearing that same fart
joke again and again and again, well it just gets old. But that's apparently
what the Brothers Wayans think we want, so if that is, in fact, what equals a
fine evening of cinema for you, then by all means, there's a seat with your
name on it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.
So the coffin has been lowered on yet another lousy sequel. With any luck,
this movie will be ignored and remain buried alongside the rotting carcasses
of CITY SLICKERS 2 and I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. However, using
my amazing psychic powers, I predict that this will make a mint and a half at
the box office, which is rather unfortunate, if not terribly disturbing. The
people in the theater with me sure seemed to be having a good time, oohing
and aahing at the various splatters of bodily fluids, so maybe I'm just an
old fuddy-duddy who doesn't appreciate a bold new voice in comedy. But I
don't think so.
Take a pal and pay full price for both tickets.
Itís worth a full-price ticket.
Itís worth a matinee ticket.
Wait for video rental.
Check out the video from the library, if you must.
While we would never encourage anyone to destroy a video...