I walked into the theater with relatively low expectations. The film had been advertised, merchandised, and sensationalized well enough for me to recognize a smokescreen forming. And, with that mental preparation, I wasn’t disappointed. It was an enjoyable movie, but something was missing. It had all the makings of a Hollywood blockbuster but nothing that will make it a classic. The rating should give away the central problem; this is a children’s movie. That alone isn’t a problem, because there is no rule that adults cannot enjoy a children’s program. Pixar has mastered the art of making a movie that bridges the gap between adult and children’s genres. Fantastic Four just didn’t deliver on the mature end. It belongs in a comic book for this reason, and it would be easier on everyone if this were the case. But, I guess animators need work, too. Maybe I should get in on that racket…

First off, never trust anyone named Von Doom who hails from a non-existent country that gives out scary metal masks to honor its greatest citizens. Reed Richards (Grufudd) and Ben Grimm (Chiklis) made that obvious mistake in the name of science. They go up in space to experiment with cosmic energies in a Von Doom space station, accompanied by Johnny Storm (Evans), Susan Storm (Alba), and Viktor Von Doom (McMahon). One minor miscalculation later, everyone but Von Doom is caught unshielded in a cosmic storm, fundamentally altering their DNA. They take their sweet time uncovering and developing their powers and characters. We see how poor Reed just wasn’t the man for the incredibly young-looking Susan Storm, and Ben Grimm is no longer the man for his wife Debbie, who can’t handle her new rocky tank hubby. Johnny Storm, already being a hotshot, is the only one embracing his new powers while remaining the dick that everyone knows him as. Von Doom didn’t escape the cosmic energies untouched, and is instead becoming a man of metal and power with plenty of bitterness, overseeing his empire crumble and his woman leave him for her ex. Obviously, violence is the answer.

There was far too much buildup and way too little bang at the climax. I know, I know, “That’s what she said,” but seriously, once the team managed to work together, Dr. Doom was doomed. He wasn’t very good at his villainy career; you’d think being a capitalist would have prepared him for ruthless violent animosity, but he just didn’t kill anyone Fantastic when he had the chance. Classic bad-guy mistake. He’s the kind of villain who doesn’t have a horrendous philosophy or a delightful insanity, but rather the kind who just needed more love from his mommy. Everyone hates a good villain and everyone loves a great one, but I just pitied Dr. Doom. In fact, the heroes were a bit on the moody side too, but given their situation, it was understandable. Fortunately, Johnny Storm had some clever and funny lines, and all in all the film was enjoyable, but it lacked any real substance.

Recently, superhero movies have been flooding the market, running the gamut from the less well done (X-Men 2 anyone?) to the Incredible(s). Fantastic Four must unfortunately be compared to other films of its super-powered genre, and it doesn’t measure up to its name. If you’re going to see one superhero movie this summer, for the love of God, see Batman Begins. If you’re going to see two, then see it again. If you want more, consider Fantastic Four if you’ve already seen The Incredibles.

—Duncan Wright