|
I applaud Matthew Perry’s decision to try to clean
up his life by entering rehab for his various addictions,
but I would like to suggest to him that if he seriously hopes
to get better, then he might consider a few tenets of the
venerable Alcoholics Anonymous organization. Specifically,
that one should own up to their mistakes, like this movie,
and that he should make amends to those whom he’s harmed,
like me.
Now, of course I shouldn’t have expected much from a comedy
about the madcap adventures of process server, who hooks up
with the jilted wife ( Hurley), of a two-timing, good
ol’ boy millionaire, (shamefully played by Bruce Campbell),
and I didn’t, but this was just painful. I mean pure shit.
This movie couldn’t have been saved by gratuitous nudity;
it was that bad. Serving Sara is both puerile and
completely listless at the same time. I can’t believe anyone
who worked on this thought it was going to be any good.
Perry has a face full of stubble, and a hangdog expression
that may bespeak his off-screen troubles, but could just as
easily be a reflection of his having to recite such lame barbs,
as the one about his rival process server being a “Nostra-dumbass.”
It’s the kind of thing that could drive me to drugs. I really
doubt though, that Perry could ever carry a good comedy. His
schtick is just too limited. For instance, when the movie
disingenuously requires his character Joe to open up to Hurley’s
Sara, and reveal that he’s really a decent guy, Perry seems
painfully contrived, whereas everywhere else he just seems
careless.
And if Perry has substance abuse as an excuse, what clouded
the judgment of everyone else responsible for this god-awful
mess. Hurley’s supremely composed beauty is squandered in
the ditzy role of Sara, a woman married to a cartoon cowboy,
who ends up running around in a ridiculous stripper costume
after her pants get torn off. Of course heaps of shame go
to the writers who actually penned this crap, and the veteran
comedy director Hudlin, who seems completely unaware
of how comic pacing works.
Bottom line, even if you are the kind of person who pisses
themselves laughing upon hearing adults call each other “dickweed”
and “asswipe” you probably still won’t like this movie, because
it’s as limp as a junkie’s genitals.
—Ted Rholes
|
