In this review I will become the intended audience: I am Jenny, a 10-year-old.

I liked GLITTER a lot. Mariah Carey was so pretty, and her boyfriend was really cute. In the movie Mariah plays a girl named Billie Frank. I actually like Mariah better, but oh well. In the movie Billie starts off a back-up singer with a mean manager, but then a DJ named Dice discovers her. They become boyfriend and girlfriend and Dice agrees to pay the mean manager $100,000 to let him produce Billie’s music. They are happy until she becomes a big star and he becomes jealous. Then—ok, that’s enough Jenny.

All right, I’ll step out of the 10-year-old façade now. GLITTER wasn’t as bad as I expected, and Mariah Carey was not as bad an actress as I thought she’d be. I thought she gave a better performance than Whitney Houston, who starred in THE BODYGUARD. Yeah, that’s not saying much, but I’ll give her that.

All this praise doesn’t mean I really liked the film, but if I was the younger girl—the target audience for this film, I would like it. As an older girl, I did enjoy the awesome ’80s club scenes that were full of folks decked out in glam costumes and glittery makeup. The music didn’t impress me at all. I was actually hoping Mariah would bust out with some of her old tunes; I admit it—when I was a girl I grew up liking “Vision of Love” days.

Overall, if you are babysitting some 10-year-olds or have a couple kids of your own, this is a great film for them. You adults, you probably wouldn’t see GLITTER anyway, so I don’t really have to tell you that.

——Jennifer Prestigiacomo

hybridCinema Ratings Guide:

Take a pal and pay full price for both tickets.

It’s worth a full-price ticket.

It’s worth a matinee ticket.

Wait for video rental.

Check out the video from the library, if you must.

While we would never encourage anyone to destroy a video...