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Eight Crazy Nights (PG-13)
Official Site
Director: Seth Kearsley
Producers: Adam Sandler, Jack Giarraputo, Allen Covert
Written by: Brooks Arthur, Allen Covert, Brad Isaacs, Adam Sandler
Cast: Adam Sandler, Jackie Titone, Jon Lovitz, Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider

Rating: out of 5

A framework. My all-time favorite movie ever is It’s A Wonderful Life. So I expect a lot out of a holiday movie. Laughs, tears, heartwarming entertainment. Sadly, none come with the nearly unbearable Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.

I dig Adam Sandler. Come on, does it get any better than Happy Gilmore? Well, yes actually, it does, but still, it’s damn funny. Same with Billy Madison and Big Daddy. And though I wanted to like this animated venture, it was—believe it or not—even worse than The Waterboy and Little Nicky combined.

The preview promises a movie based on Sandler’s holiday favorite “The Chanukah Song.” Not so. The third installment of his comedic holiday number only plays during the closing credits. And the film really plays to the lowest common denominator. Trying to please both Christians and Jews, it comes off as watered down and remarkably un-holiday spirited.

The movie opens with Davey Stone (Sandler) boozing it up at a local Chinese restaurant, setting records for belching duration before ending up outside humping his car. Start tallying the shit jokes, which will no doubt litter the remaining 69 minutes of the film.

Stone is a previously promising youth basketball player now living a life devoid of meaning, friendship, or family. A 33-year-old drunk with no redeeming qualities, Stone is handed down a 10-year prison sentence for his rude and destructive behavior. Before he can be taken away, Whitey (also voiced, somewhat annoyingly, by Sandler), an elfish old dude with non-matching feet, saves Stone from punishment by inviting him to come work as a youth basketball referee. Stone continues to berate everyone else around him until he finally comes to grips with the childhood loss of his parents.

Now, as I stated in the beginning, I am an Adam Sandler fan, as is my friend and co-reviewer (many thanks to Eric Thorlin). He said and I quote, “I wouldn’t sit through this movie again unless I was extremely intoxicated or too cheap to pay for Mistress Chalmsky’s House of Torture.” Hey, one saving grace—it’s only an hour and 11 minutes long. Better luck next time.

—Michelle Fajkus


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