A framework. My all-time favorite movie ever is It’s A
Wonderful Life. So I expect a lot out of a holiday movie.
Laughs, tears, heartwarming entertainment. Sadly, none come
with the nearly unbearable Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights.
I dig Adam Sandler. Come on, does it get any better
than Happy Gilmore? Well, yes actually, it does, but
still, it’s damn funny. Same with Billy Madison and
Big Daddy. And though I wanted to like this animated
venture, it was—believe it or not—even worse than The Waterboy
and Little Nicky combined.
The preview promises a movie based on Sandler’s holiday favorite
“The Chanukah Song.” Not so. The third installment of his
comedic holiday number only plays during the closing credits.
And the film really plays to the lowest common denominator.
Trying to please both Christians and Jews, it comes off as
watered down and remarkably un-holiday spirited.
The movie opens with Davey Stone (Sandler) boozing it up
at a local Chinese restaurant, setting records for belching
duration before ending up outside humping his car. Start tallying
the shit jokes, which will no doubt litter the remaining 69
minutes of the film.
Stone is a previously promising youth basketball player now
living a life devoid of meaning, friendship, or family. A
33-year-old drunk with no redeeming qualities, Stone is handed
down a 10-year prison sentence for his rude and destructive
behavior. Before he can be taken away, Whitey (also voiced,
somewhat annoyingly, by Sandler), an elfish old dude with
non-matching feet, saves Stone from punishment by inviting
him to come work as a youth basketball referee. Stone continues
to berate everyone else around him until he finally comes
to grips with the childhood loss of his parents.
Now, as I stated in the beginning, I am an Adam Sandler fan,
as is my friend and co-reviewer (many thanks to Eric Thorlin).
He said and I quote, “I wouldn’t sit through this movie again
unless I was extremely intoxicated or too cheap to pay for
Mistress Chalmsky’s House of Torture.” Hey, one saving grace—it’s
only an hour and 11 minutes long. Better luck next time.