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Gay Tastee
Gayest Hits, volumes 1 & 2

Hoex Records

This album is a joke. A distasteful stink-bomb that doesn't even deserve a courtesy laugh and grows more tiresome with each subsequent listen -- if you can even last through an initial one...

Not "gay" by any definition of the word, Gay Tastee and his self-proclaimed "cast of losers singing the slurred voice of truth" is headed by Stephen Gaylord, a member of The Wasted from Albany, NY. This stuff's made in a New York CITY? It sounds more like poisonous moonshine home-brewed in a slimy plastic wading pool somewhere on the outskirts of the Bible Belt...but with a Studio City backdrop. "Cast" is right - this project feels gimmicky and affected, like a trendy trucker hat bought at Anchor Blue. It's a serving of rusty Pinto muffler pipe all choked up with downer dust, splashed with a generous glug of synthetic country-bluegrass and left to rot into something bilious -- this "Bathtub Gin" will give you gut-rot.

Sure, the guitar work is catchy in a folksy, lo-fi, fuzzy psychedelic AM rock radio way, but with run-on lyrics like the following (verbatim from the album insert): When the shit hits the fan they're the ones who'll be ready lifting the hammers to bring it all down I wish I could sit and talk shit like Hitler and keep you on the edge of your seat with what I said but whenever I tried it just came out in babble and the people started laughing and shaking their heads and a big fat joint is what I should be smoking as I wait for the messiah to lead me home but until that day 'til the day that I'm ready keep your fucking hands off me and leave me alone. Oy VEY -- the songs are wearisome, offensive and just plain yucky. It all comes across as self-indulgent, juvenile drivel. These are rebels-without-a-cause of the most irritating kind: young and bright, but too lazy to do anything but fart around and kvetch about "The Man" and their quarter-life crises.

In checking out www.gaytastee.com, we are greeted with two links - one black, one white - that each say, "GAY TASTEE HATES YOU!", and very little else. That pretty much sums it up, folks! This entire two-disc album is one long, dragged-out, dyspeptic finger-pointing bitch-fest about drugs, booze, domestic violence, overworked baby mommas, AWOL alcoholic fathers and other accoutrements of a Hollywood trailer park ghetto. Bodily functions are frequently used as adjectives. We're left feeling sullied and sullen…

Towards the album's godforsaken end, I felt like sprinkling my toothbrush with Comet and scrubbing out all four of my lobes (ear and brain).

The Tastee rendition of "Sixteen Tons" was halfway appealing, and "Designated Driver" contains a mildly entertaining drum-and-guitar theme copped from The Ramones' "The KKK Took My Baby Away", but the rest smacks of a bad, tainted, cacophonous version of Beck's Mellow Gold (especially on Volume 1, Track 7, "The Krakow Kid" - a tedious ten minutes long).

To be fair, I held out 'til the end of the entire twangy, whiny, excruciating thing, but would rather have been attached to a fast-moving vehicle by winch hooks through my earlobes and dragged through upholstery tacks.

-Dee Vinyl

Track Listing:

Volume 1

1. Webcor
2. Bathtub Gin
3. Homo Radio
4. Shot to Shit
5. Seeds and Stems
6. Taming the Lyon/Sixteen Tons
7. The Krakow Kid

Volume 2

1. Ditchweed
2. Food and Weed
3. Shovels
4. Bedwetter
5. Sanford and Son
6. St Peter
7. Mountain Music
8. Designated Driver

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