The most common or likely phrase one might mutter when listening
to a Mystechs album probably approximates "What the hell
is this?" Warriors & Warlocks is of course, no different.
There is something so decidedly low-rent or B-movie about them that
writing a full review for them here seems an almost shameful exercise.
"Zombie Mountain" is really fuckin' funny. It's a witty,
well-constructed, parodical homage to the works of zombie and slasher
auteurs like George Romero, Wes Craven, and John
Carpenter. And while I'm at it, they do a pretty decent cover
of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song", largely due to
the rather good singing voice of Christine Ingaldson who similarly
makes it all work for "Zombie Mountain." Nick Dye's
vocals work well for "Barbarian Fire Truck" as he mocks
the self-absorbed, overrated, lunkhead soul-singers stamped from the
Michael Bolton mold, but his voice on other offerings like
"L.Z.L.L.F.N. -A.R.!!!" are really aggravating when he doesn't
even attempt to sing in anything resembling a key, or when it seems
like he's trying way too hard. At what, I'm still not sure. (His work
on Corporate MF was similarly good/bad.) On "Sweet 666teen",
Ingaldson and Co. sound exactly like a resurrection of the '90s Riot
Grrrl band the Lunachicks, all the way down to her spot-on
imitation of Theo Kogan.
We have "Mecha Jesus." I dunno, this seems
like the sort of angle played to death by Parker and Stone
in the cels of South Park. Were it not so derivative, I'd say
keep it in, but things being what they are makes this track one of
the low-rent variety.
Last, but first, "Warriors & Warlocks" is actually
a fairly thoughtful treatise on the nature of fantasy as reality.
Anyone unfamiliar with this idea should visit a Star Trek or
other sort of gaming convention just once. For the people contained
therein, the fantasy is the reality; a propped-up one of self-delusion,
synthetic languages, intrigues and cheesy mock uniforms, but a reality
And certainly no less fulfilling than the ones us regular blokes
live in. At least, for their sakes, I hope it is.
1. Warriors & Warlocks
2. L.Z.L.L.F.N. - A.R.!!!
3. Immigrant Song
4. Barbarian Fire Truck
5. Sweet 666teen
7. Zombie Mountain
8. Mecha Jesus
9. Cathy Says
10. I Hate You
11. Football Hero
12. Everyone Must Die, Except
13. Warriors & Warlocks II
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