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Mystechs
Warriors & Warlocks
Omega Point Records


The most common or likely phrase one might mutter when listening to a Mystechs album probably approximates "What the hell is this?" Warriors & Warlocks is of course, no different. There is something so decidedly low-rent or B-movie about them that writing a full review for them here seems an almost shameful exercise.

Except...

"Zombie Mountain" is really fuckin' funny. It's a witty, well-constructed, parodical homage to the works of zombie and slasher auteurs like George Romero, Wes Craven, and John Carpenter. And while I'm at it, they do a pretty decent cover of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song", largely due to the rather good singing voice of Christine Ingaldson who similarly makes it all work for "Zombie Mountain." Nick Dye's vocals work well for "Barbarian Fire Truck" as he mocks the self-absorbed, overrated, lunkhead soul-singers stamped from the Michael Bolton mold, but his voice on other offerings like "L.Z.L.L.F.N. -A.R.!!!" are really aggravating when he doesn't even attempt to sing in anything resembling a key, or when it seems like he's trying way too hard. At what, I'm still not sure. (His work on Corporate MF was similarly good/bad.) On "Sweet 666teen", Ingaldson and Co. sound exactly like a resurrection of the '90s Riot Grrrl band the Lunachicks, all the way down to her spot-on imitation of Theo Kogan.

And then… We have "Mecha Jesus." I dunno, this seems like the sort of angle played to death by Parker and Stone in the cels of South Park. Were it not so derivative, I'd say keep it in, but things being what they are makes this track one of the low-rent variety.

Last, but first, "Warriors & Warlocks" is actually a fairly thoughtful treatise on the nature of fantasy as reality. Anyone unfamiliar with this idea should visit a Star Trek or other sort of gaming convention just once. For the people contained therein, the fantasy is the reality; a propped-up one of self-delusion, synthetic languages, intrigues and cheesy mock uniforms, but a reality nonetheless.

And certainly no less fulfilling than the ones us regular blokes live in. At least, for their sakes, I hope it is.

-JD

Track Listing:
1. Warriors & Warlocks
2. L.Z.L.L.F.N. - A.R.!!!
3. Immigrant Song
4. Barbarian Fire Truck
5. Sweet 666teen
6. Burned
7. Zombie Mountain
8. Mecha Jesus
9. Cathy Says
10. I Hate You
11. Football Hero
12. Everyone Must Die, Except…
13. Warriors & Warlocks II


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