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Crystal Method
Tweekend
Outpost


The Crystal Method Film Company’s follow up to their 1997 box office smash Vegas is actually eleven short subject action films, an unusual and unprecedented movie package. Will Tweekend lift the movie business out of the summer doldrums? Here is a review of each of the eleven stories featured in the film.

"PHD"--Short on dialogue, long on sweeping futuristic visual cinematography, "PHD" is an overly arty snoozer that may have something to do with a line of robots designed and programmed to perform surgery on humans. Or maybe not.

"Wild, Sweet and Cool"--Homeboy in love describes the object of his affection, but she must be Canadian because her identity is never revealed. Shot with riveting flair and subversively sexy, "Wild, Sweet and Cool" grabs your immediate attention and holds it firm to the very end, despite the disappointment of never meeting the girl.

"Roll It Up"--Fast paced docu-drama about (what else?) the life of a Los Angeles area carpet installation man. Tom Morello of Rage Against The Machine turns in a brutal performance as a man who tortures guitars. Shot entirely on location at LAX.

"Murder"--Chatty by comparison to the first three features, the suspenseful "Murder" maps the movements of a female serial killer through the eyes and words of several narrators.

"Name Of The Game"--Dizzying pastiche of hip-hop, seamy nightclub characters, and the after-hours culture of The Big City. LA oddball fixture Beck plays a mad scientist cum turntable wizard in a wonderful cameo.

"The Winner"--Engaging sci-fi mystery that chronicles one man’s descent into paranoia. "I know, know y’all know what we gonna do now," he says to strangers on the street as they back away from him in a mix of horror and confusion. Stylish and powerful, "The Winner" is perhaps the biggest winner in the Tweekend compendium.

"Ready For Action"--More style that substance, but what style! "Ready For Action" is a cinematic stunner that really isn’t about anything. Blows yer mind without engaging it…guess that makes it Perfect Entertainment!

"Ten Miles Back"--Delightful animated tale of a keyboard that thinks it’s a coronet. It gets lost on an island of donkey children, eventually grows up to become a Steinway piano. Sweet enough for children, yet sophisticated enough to keep adults interested.

"Over The Line"--Lightweight farce about an unlikely romance between an aging ex-roadie for the Alan Parsons Project and a young, nubile twenty-something hairdresser/record store clerk/club monger. Laughs galore.

"Blowout"--This one could’ve been a nitro-fueled action pic about gangs of street smart youths who don’t exactly race their super-charged muscle machines, but instead cruise them up and down Melrose Avenue, trying not to hit any shoppers or tourists…or it could be about the life of a Quality Assurance Specialist at Firestone who goes on a rampage against Production Managers at a plant in Michigan. Either or.

"Tough Guy"--When metallic insect-like robotic killing machines swoop down like an electro-plague on an unsuspecting Earth, only one man can stop them…the "Tough Guy." Swaggers gracefully like a modern western should.

Don’t expect this bold and daring series to break any box office records. These short features are not for everyone, (no dick jokes, no farting bears, etc.) but while these films are not exactly ahead of their time, credit must be given to the producers at Crystal Method for creating a high octane series of mini-noir classics that are as cutting edge as anything else released to theaters during this ho-hum summer.

AND THE SOUNDTRACKS FUCKING RAWK!

Rated R for strong language and guitar violence.

Jeff Noise

Track Listing:

  1. PHD
  2. Wild Sweet and Cool
  3. Roll It Up
  4. Murder
  5. Name Of The Game
  6. The Winner
  7. Ready For Action
  8. Ten Miles Back
  9. Over The Line
  10. Blow Out
  11. Tough Guy

 

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Mike Doughty



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