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Here at HybridMagazine.com, we live by a simple policy when
it comes to writing record reviews: write about things that
move you. We do our best to not waste bandwidth on things
that are merely "okay". A record has the power to
move you; make you feel passionate about the songs and the
performance. It can move mountains or tear them down with
just the push of the play button. Dos Coyotes is a
record that I feel very passionate about…I had to write
about it. The press information calls the Scottsdale, Arizona
band’s record "Baja Surf Music". It also has been
dubbed "a new slant on country music". That’s what
sparked my interest…not to leave out the nifty Southwest inspired
cover. I gleefully put it in the player, hoping for some fiery
guitar playing mixed with a Southwestern flair or maybe some
twang. But to my surprise, that’s all absent, and what’s there
is, well…let me put it this way. This is the poorest
record I have heard in quite some time. Not to offend the
two main conspirators (Gene Smeed and Mark Tait),
but it’s just so…well, poor! Here’s why.
"Mambo To Cabo" begins well enough with a mellow
acoustic refrain, then the lyrics begin. They are the most
banal lyrics—talking about getting away from the rat race,
drinking margaritas and hanging on the beach. Now, drinkin’
and relaxin’ is all well and good, but then the chorus drops
the line we can live just like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.
And if that’s not bad enough, they even incorporate Life’s
a beach in the verse. Musically, I applaud their attempt
at blending in steel drums, but all that was accomplished
with the steel drums is erased by a keyboard horn line nicked
from the Paul Simon tune "Just Call Me Al".
Did he just end the song singing baba-loo? We’ve heard
all this before, and Jimmy Buffett this isn’t. Continuing
the same theme, "Senorita" again employs cliched
lyrics and kitchy Mexican references to a fairly steady, yet
very un-inspiring musical accompaniment. Flashes of those
keyboard horns pop back in here and there, dragging the whole
number through a pot of queso so thick you need a putty knife
rather than a tortilla chip to dig it up with. The "dance
mix" drips the cheese on even thicker with a really forced,
faux hip-hop beat and even more of the outdated keyboard horn
blasts. The vocalist (not clear as to which man is singing
as the credits list both of them as vocalists) does his best
Bruce Springsteen for "Tejano Cowboy", but
he just falls flat. This road tune (complete with the peeling
out car sample at the beginning of it) continues to follow
the trend of senoritas and margaritas…only this time there’s
driving involved. Does anybody know if Bernie Taupin
is available to lend his lyrical services to these guys? To
this song’s credit, though, there are a few inspired roadhouse
guitar licks thrown in here and there, but it just can’t save
it…especially when they sing Let’s ride, ride, ride, yippy-yi-ky-yay.
It makes me laugh…I just can’t take it seriously. I thought
that there was hope for "Missing You In Houston"
when a bit of Spanish guitar starts it off…but alas, it disappears
as the other gentleman takes the mic. His voice is very thin
without much resonance or personality at all. It is a very
boring and standard country inspired ballad, without being
country. No heart, no soul, and not a damn thing to keep me
entertained. But there’s improvement here—this is the only
song that doesn’t talk about margaritas…or did I just happen
to miss it?
I usually don’t write bad record reviews…and I don’t want
to call this record bad. It is just so incredibly (and
I use the word again because it just seems to fit so well)
poor. Yes, I’m obsessed with the poorness of
the record, that’s why I wrote it up. I was hoping for something
"surfy" or "new country". Hell, something
"south of the border" flavored would have done me
right, but it’s just not there, again proving the old tired
adage: don’t judge a book by it’s cover (or it’s accompanying
press sheet). My advice to Dos Coyotes is to return
to the Holiday Inn bar or the "package deal Mexican
resort where all the drinks are free" they escaped from
and play for all the drunk middle-aged folks who will hang
on their every note. Sorry guys.
-tom topkoff
Track Listing:
- Mambo To Cabo
- Senorita
- Tejano Cowboy
- Missing You In Houston
- Senorita (Dance Mix)
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