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Threshner
Apparatus! EP
Searching For Cereal Records


I found some time in my busy schedule of listening to Living in Oblivion (the 80ís collection with such hits as Bow Wow Wowís "C30, C60, C90, GO!") and watching Patrick Dempsey movies (Loverboy being the greatest) on late night television to review this EP from DC based Threshner. I donít know what or who a Threshner is, but by the title of this Extended Play CD, I am led to believe it some made-up "apparatus." CleverÖor is it, itís hard to tell with these new rock band names. God Speed You Black Emperor, now that is a fabulous band name, yes?

The songs are about two minutes long each of a dude singing about falling in love and then not. "Very original," says this guy typing this to you in a sarcastic tone, but without malice mind you. Itís low-key blank rock. Blank in that it could be pop or indie or Brit--I really canít tell. At least that is something to be said. It is hard to categorize--usually a great bonus, here a complete apathetic ambiguity. On track 3, "Baby," they steal half of the riff to the Whoís "Canít Explain." That is a common thing to do for people who like to brag that they make "two-chord rock." Actually the promo sheet that was sent with their CD sums up their sound hilariously, as half of the stuff is complete lies (to their credit, I believe it was made ironic on purpose, a novel idea). Shall I just reprint some of it here for your perusal? O-kay.

"Hereís the first release from indie-pop outfit Threshner, a five-song EP betraying a total lack of marketable consistency, so you may as well toss it now. Tracks range from two-chord rock (ok, more than two) to fake 60ís pop with Tropicalia lyrics to a fairly catchy drum-loop-and-guitar-ditty with background issues and three-part harmony. This EP was recorded with nothing but the finest professional equipment but management felt "indie credibility" was lacking, so no expense was spared to make it sound like it was done in a living room with two mics and a computer."

Listening to this is like eating a toaster pastry for breakfast which you have not had time to fully toast because you are late to class but starving for nourishment in the frosting and sugary filling. It could be much better, not quite fulfilling its junk food destiny. Believe the hype, "toss it now." I have nothing witty or descriptive left to say about Threshner, just that I wouldnít listen to this instead of Katrina and the Waves or Wall of Voodoo or Haircut 100 or even Echo and the Bunnymen. Three undertoasted poptarts out of five.

- Joseph Martinez

Track Listing:

  1. Sun Time
  2. (Like A) Hole In The Ground
  3. Baby
  4. Just The Usual Noises Around Here
  5. London Song (Mastroianni mix)

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Mike Doughty



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