The prize for Creepiest Album photos goes to Prophets &
Kings. The cover shows four hairy young men in short shorts
posing with guns and rifles in what looks like a dirty public bathhouse.
The inside art shows the aforementioned hairy young men posing in
seventies-era basketball outfits, complete with headbands. The CD
graphic shows a a close-up of the mouth of someone badly in need
of braces showing off a Prophets & Kings tattoo on the inside
of his lip.
Where do I even go from here? Does anything so repulsively packaged
stand a chance of containing anything remotely listenable? Not really.
The ensuing 10 tracks are generic big-beat-house-techno-disco tunes
with occasional nods to mid-career Depeche Mode that do nothing
to sway me from my preconceived notion that this record cannot possibly
redeem itself with the music contained within.
I am not so confident in myself as to say, with certainty, that
the visual repulsiveness of this album doesn't taint my ears when
I listen to the music. In an effort to be fair to Prophets &
Kings I ripped the CD to my iPod, buried the CD itself deep in the
back of my closet, then proceeded to give Prophets & Kings far
more listening time than they deserve. I'm sorry guys - that didn't
work either. I think they may be trying for some post-Animal
Collective psychedelic electronica but what comes across is
little more than amateurish laptop dance music with scarcely a hook
to draw the listener in.
The beats are glitchy, noisy and abrasive. The vocals most often
remind me of early-sixties bachelor pad music - and not the good
kind. The lyrics are inane repetitive chants like "We live
the night," sung earnestly over and over again.
I'm sorry guys. I tried. I really did. The bad packaging even bought
Prophets & Kings extra effort on my part. With all that, I still
can't find any redeeming quality in this record.
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