The Upstart Pipsqueaks is a biweekly ride through the twisted
collective mind of Skid and Rux, two boy-os from Seattle,
WA. They are Aries and Pisces, respectively, and enjoy dancing just as
good as they want. They like to listen to phonograph records, and the
American Civil Liberties Union say that it's allright for you to listen
in on what they are thinking. So drink up. The opinions expressed in The
Upstart Pipsqueaks do not reflect those of Hybridmagazine, Buddy Ebson,
or Communist China.
a note from the boys:
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Remember to always listen to something while reading our column, whether
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The Upstart Pipsqueaks present:
Pearl Jam "10"
Rux: ...Does that bother you?
Rux: Does that bother you?
Skid: Uh, yeah. No I kinda like it. But does it interfere with the music?
Rux: I dunno. Well here comes the music I'm sure this is gonna bother you.
Skid: Oh, we're on? Yeah it doesn't bother me nearly as much as the music.
Rux: Yeah, this music is gonna bother you. With the introduction. It's been
a long time since I listened to this record.
Skid: Huh...I wonder why?
Rux: Hmm hmm hmmm.
Skid: It's been a long time since I listened to it.
Rux: Oh, here's the Pearl Jam. I think it's a little louder than it needs
Rux: Oh, there you go. Ah, he admits it. It is too loud.
Skid: Ah, OK.
Rux: Do we need to give a little background on these guys for our readers
who don't know who Pearl Jam is?
Skid: Pearl Jam came out of the –uh- grunge movement there from the –uh- Northwest.
Rux: Most of the band was spawned from a band of friends of ours, called Mother
Love Bone. Or as we like to say, Mater Leiber Bone. Fronted by Andrew
Skid: Stop fronting me.
Rux: Yeah, fronting me some Andrew Wood. And so would I. And then Andrew killed
hisself. I believe he overdosed on something.
Skid: I don't think it was intentional.
Rux: No, I don't think it was either, but he did kill himself but I don't
think it was intentional. That's what you're trying to tell me?
Skid: So Mother Love Bone and all their Soundgarden buddies and Temple of the
Garden Dog in Chains.
Rux: Temple of the Dog was all the Soundgarden guys doing their little tribute
with I don't know which guy from Pearl Jam was in that. It might have
Skid: Well Vedder was in that too.
Rux: Oh, that's who it was. It was the other guy.
Skid: The other guy. It's a good point to bring up right now that Vedder is
only his stage name. His given name was Edward Knudson-Weiss. It's a hyphenated...
Rux: (laughs) Now, how's that spelled?
Skid: (see above) K-n-u-d-s-o-n hyphen W-e-i-s-s Knudson Weiss. The spoon-bending,
Germanic, Swedish name.
Rux: Let's lay off the spoon-benders, man. That ain’t cool.
Skid: Hey, I'm just talkin' 'bout spoon-benders.
Rux: I can dig it.
Skid: Damn right.
Rux: Shore you right.
Skid: He's getting into some screaming here. This really isn't what you hear
on the radio so much, this style. He's getting loud.
Rux: Yes. No, you don't hear this on the radio.
Skid: He's getting a little out of pocket.
Rux: Yeah, you’re right, there.
Skid: And you're right there. I can see you from where I'm sitting.
Rux: I feel like Howard Stern.
Skid: I feel like Robin Givens. Oh, wait...Robin...Trower.
Rux: We need some naked ladies down here.
Skid: Robin Trower?
I did...(running gag missed)
Rux: We're trying some high-tech stuff with the Pipsqueaks here, to make your
reading and listening-while-reading enjoyment better. We're trying this
out in the studio to see if that's gonna work better.
Skid: We said absolutely nothing about that last song.
Rux: Yeah... it was just the intro, anyways.
Skid: I think we were distracted by all the toys.
Rux: There is lots of stuff in this studio.
Skid: And here is a familiar one...
Rux: This is a... Was this the first radio single these guys had?
Skid: Uh... I think this was the second one.
Rux: Alive! That was the first one.
Skid: This is the second one. This is the one where he goes "a-fizz-a-fuzz-a-fiwwy-fooza."
Rux: (sings) "Even... rada-a-made aroun-a-billow-made of concrete. Oh
Skid: A liter of concrete?
Rux: A pillow made of concrete.
Skid: This is the song that he wrote about baby bottles.
Rux: Baby bottles. The Evenflo baby bottles.
Skid: I use the Evenflo high chair. Please send me stuff, Evenflo! I wasn't
aware that they made furniture as well, but... probably strollers, too.
Rux: Now, who is their mascot? (whispers) Because for a price, it could be
Skid: Evenflo? ... Edward Knudson-Weiss. (laughter) The Evenflo baby... the
Gerber Baby's sister or something? Gerber... send me stuff!
Rux: The Gerber Baby's nemesis, man.
Skid: This is the Pearl Jam song where you can't understand the lyrics... Oh
wait. On the video, this is where the kids thought it appropriate to stage
dive. And Vedder jumped off the balcony...
Rux: Oh, yeah yeah. Yeah, see I confuse this one. I was thinking it was the
"Jeremy" song. With the video about the kid going crazy... But
that's not this song. I don't do a lot of the video thing, you know. I'm
not real hip to the video.
Rux: I think he spins around like butterflies.
Skid: I think they mention butterflies in the "Jeremy" song, too.
Rux: They might. It might be some weird Edward Knudson-Weiss butterfly fetish.
Skid: It may be Eddie VAN Knudson-Weiss. Or is that an 80's metal band?
Rux: Yes. That's the metal band.
Rux: VanKnudson-Weiss? You're thinking of the town in California... Van Nudson-Weiss.
Skid: Yeah... He's got a lot of energy. His vocal lines just really go nowhere.
He follows the music. Not rhythmically, but...
Skid: Right. And it's very uninteresting to me. He just kind of floats above
Rux: Yeah, I think you're right. He doesn't do his own thing. I think its
kind of hard in a band like this where you have a guitar player like Stone
Gossard, who is pretty much -as far as i'm concerned- running the show...
with his chingy chingy's... he's pretty much setting the tone.
Skid: I like when it goes down low like this, and they are doing a little underlying
thing. But they do an extreme amount of wanking.
Rux: Well, at certain times, yeah. And certainly on the records after this,
Skid: I wouldn't know.
Rux: This is the only one you know?
Skid: Oh yeah.
Rux: Ok... Here's my Pearl Jam career retrospective... They came out with
a great album with 10, and then they did about 3 crappy albums.
Then they did Yield, where they were basically Led Zeppelin, only
for the new generation. So you could probably not like it, but there were
some very nice songs. But I think everything in between 10 and
Yield was pretty much throw away rock.
Skid: I'm just really happy that they don't do videos. They don't get a lot
of radio play. I know that they do on occasion. But to me they're the
new Grateful Dead, which makes me very happy because I don't have to put
up with them.
Rux: You're never bothered by Pearl Jam?
Skid: Right. They don't come knocking on my door asking if they can play this
song. It's a little agreement we worked out.
Rux: I like the rhythm in this song a lot. And I like the way the rhythm guitars
keep that steady doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
Skid: It is nice, and I enjoy the drums.
Rux: Jeff Abrussio, or whatever his real name is... is a great drummer.
Skid: Ok... now this is the song...
Rux: This was the number one hit.
Skid: Right, this was the first single that I had heard, at least. And I saw
it on television. I saw the video...
Rux: On television?
Skid: On the television device... and the first thing I thought when I heard
them, was actually: Jefferson Airplane.
Skid: Yeah, it was kind of a throwback thing. Of course, without Grace Slick.
I thought he was trying to be Grace Slick.
Rux: I can kind of understand that.
Skid: And I like the story behind this.
Rux: This first record was very powerful, by these guys. I guess if you look
at... '91, what else was there that was actually... I guess there was
the whole grunge thing happening, where everyone was supposedly emotional...
Skid: This was the whole time of Nirvana and things had just busted out. They've
been compared to Alice in Chains, and right after this...
Rux: I think this spawned Alice in Chains, didn't it?
Skid: No, they had been out before this. And Stone Temple Pilots came out after
Rux: They're all products of Soundgarden, I guess, really.
Skid: I don't agree with that. Alice in Chains, I think, was before pretty
much any of those.
Rux: Really? I wasn't aware that they were back then. But Soundgarden, in
like '89, turned from their punk thing into doing something more melodic.
Skid: Well, this is my favorite Pearl Jam song. But the problem is now that
I can see where their career has gone, where the music has come to, I
can't think about this without thinking about him tight-lipped, with his
eyes fluttering... Looks like he's going into some sort of a seizure.
Skid: It’s a kind of slow down groove here.
Rux: Yeah, it's a very nice... the guitar work in this song meanders all over.
Skid: Yeah, and in this one, the guitar player... what's his name? Stone? Stuart
Rux: Stone Gossard.
Skid: Stone Cold Gossard. [He] Kept it down there and does some noodling, but
doesn't do a whole lot of screaming leads.
Rux: Well, during the verses, the guitar keeps moving. It doesn't really do
a simple rhythmic guitar part, and... Mike is the other guitar player’s
name. I can't remember his last name, but he does a lot of that stuff.
This is my opinion on this band, and I'll just get this out of the way,
right here. Third song in. My opinion on this band is that everyone who
has ever been in this band is somewhat talented, but the real strength
of this band has always lied in Stone Gossard and his ability to write
songs and play guitar. And that's the rest of the story.
Skid: All right then.
Rux: I am a big believer in Stone.
Skid: Wow... you like the Stones huh?
Rux: Yeah. And the Family.
Skid: Well, there’s a little wanking.
Rux: Stone Gossard did that little project called Brad… That you would probably
Skid: Did it have anything to do with nailing drywall and paneling?
Skid: They don’t put up any molding?
Skid: And his … Like I said, I like the story of the song. It’s very interesting.
It’s very personal; it comes from a deep place. The dialogue he is doing,
the part of the mother and the son, I get lost in that. Where someone
else is supposed to be speaking… where the characters change.
Rux: I think you have obviously paid more attention to this song over the
years than I have.
Skid: Well, I think the story itself has stuck with me. You know, imagining
something like that. Finding out that who you thought was your father
was not. Your real father is dead, and your mother is happy about it.
I think that would kind of stick with me.
Rux: I reckon it would. That might be some fodder for future psychology sessions.
Skid: Oh… when’s my next one, anyway?
Rux: Oh, it’s coming up. Shock therapy is today, baby!
Skid: Dude, turn it up to 20,000 volts, eh? Where I usually despise all the
wanking… this part where it starts speeding up and he comes in with this
guitar line, I kind of enjoy it really.
Rux: Right up until this last part where he is really in the high register.
But where it is doing the build, I agree with you.
Skid: I was kind of on their side. Hoping they would keep going faster and
faster, but… like a train… wreck. Like a Jaguar XJ with no brakes…
Skid: Falling like an avalanche, coming down the mountain…
Rux: They were like… there were 3 singles off of this record, if I remember
correctly… that got play on the radio.
Skid: There is some whammy bar.
Rux: "Jeremy," "Alive" and "Even Flow", right?
Rux: Tracks like this we get a little deeper into the band.
Skid: Do you have any vocalists you can compare him to? I think at some point
people were saying he was trying to be Jim Morrison.
Rux: I think I can kind of understand where they are coming from on that,
with the way he kind of enunciates things and drags certain things out.
He’s just so much more annoying than Jim Morrison ever was.
Skid: But most of the time he’s got more energy.
Rux: Yes. I don’t think Eddie Vedder’s got – Or Eddie Knudson-Weiss - has
a great voice, per se. I think that it’s that he’s got incredible stage
presence and that he is able to transmit that in his delivery. And I think
that that is what has kept this band alive for as long as they have been.
Skid: Do you have that "Last Kiss" single?
Rux: Yes… oh, no… That was on some weird tribute or benefit thingy.
Skid: That was terrible. God, that was awful. It was completely un-listenable.
Rux: For you. I liked it. I thought it was ok.
Skid: WHAT? He’s not on key the entire time. He is nowhere even close.
Rux: No, he’s not… and you hate it because its slower than the original was…
its’ too slow.
Skid: Yeah, he’s reaching… He’s screeching like Sheryl Crow or something.
Rux: Wassup! I think that’s what he says there. WASSUP!
Skid: Wanky wanky wanky wanky.
Rux: See, now we are just falling prey to rock songs. Just general verse chorus
verse chorus solo chorus.
Skid: In the beginning here they had a lot of anger, you know. And I think
that really shows through. I don’t know what happened in the later stuff,
because I wasn’t that interested in the first place. I kind of liked that
first one, but I wasn’t intrigued enough to keep listening.
Rux: Yeah. There was a lot of the early energy that was anger. I think a lot
of the energies on the second and third records were a lot more morose,
a little more… maybe dis-focused, I don’t know.
Skid: Well, he keeps saying "Why go on?" but he did.
Skid: Yes… Yes.
Skid: I need keyboards. Maybe a harmonica.
Rux: Oh no, they played this one on the radio too. So there were 4 tracks
off this record…
Skid: That’s pretty good for a debut.
Skid: What’s the label?
Rux: Epic, I think.
Rux: (sings) "Shesoflaysabanthae"
Skid: The radio industry really is what makes it… What they decide to play.
They tell us what is good and bad.
Rux: (sings) "donbeshadshosnowflakes"
Skid: Lookout! This came out in 1891.
Rux: Nice. Before the history of recorded music, it came out. Does it really
Skid: Yeah. Either 1891 or 1881… take your pick.
Rux: It’s some very, very blurry writing.
Skid: Oh wait… I’m drunk. This is especially the one where I started to lose
it. What is this guy doing?
Rux: I think this is a nice song dynamically, but I think that it…
Skid: Open your eyes, man. Well, not you… him.
Rux: He’s got some nice, nice lines in this song… (sings) "Now my bitter
Skid: When he starts going crazy, it sounds forced. The other ones, like the
last one, there was so much energy that it came from somewhere… it just
Rux: Right, it was very natural.
Skid: Yeah. This one… I wonder, does he write all of the songs?
Rux: I think probably back here it was Eddie writing the lyrics, and Stone
writing most of the music, I would think. I still think that Stone is
responsible for most of the music to this day.
Skid: Special thanks to the Moogster… Thank you Moogster, wherever you are.
Moogster, send us stuff!
Rux: I’m sure they say all songs by Pearl Jam or something like that, huh?
Skid: No, they credit song by song.
Rux: Do they really? Amazing… Simply Amazing.
Skid: That "Last Kiss"… did they ever do any other covers? This song
is taking a really long time to get to the meat of it…
Rux: This IS the meat of it.
Skid: Oh God… this joke goes on for another 15 minutes…
Rux: If they’ve done other covers, I can’t think of any off the top of my
Skid: Hey, there’s some piano.
Rux: Plastic pianos.
Skid: Yes. He’s trying to give this song an energy that the song doesn’t want.
He’s trying to do it from his throat.
Rux: Instead of from the belly!
Skid: He doesn’t have the fire down below. Know what I mean?
Rux: Shore you right.
Skid: The fire… down… below.
Rux: I’m with you.
Skid: This is that floating thing I’m talking about. He’s just… floats.
Rux: He’s just doing the same thing? On the records there are no covers, but
I’m sure there are some on some of the singles. There had to be. We can
go through my quick catalog here…
Skid: Well, here’s the whole problem. This album was mixed in Dorking.
Rux: In Dorking? I don’t know what you are talking about.
Skid: Dorking. The town of Dorking. Oh, yeah, now he’s even singing along.
Rux: He’s mimicking the guitar. I thought you meant like the recording was
low-fidelity mono, hi-fidelity, or dorking.
Skid: Yeah, that’s very annoying.
Rux: On any of the singles I have there are no covers.
Skid: And Stone didn’t at this point say "Stop mocking me."
Rux: It’s probably Mike he’s mocking.
Skid: Mike? Who’s Mike? Uh, because Stone wouldn’t put up with that nonsense?
Stone Cold Gossard?
Rux: No, I think Stone would have kicked the shit out of him.
Skid: I don’t think you can say that, really.
Rux: I’m pretty sure he keeps singing, "I know my babe’s got a beautiful
Skid: I’m pretty sure you can’t say that, either.
Rux: Here I have a little Pearl Jam demo thing, and they do "Keep on
Rocking in the Free World", "I’ve got a Feeling" by the
Beatles, "My Generation", "Hold Your Head Up"…
Skid: Oh, my God, Argent! Ladies and gentlemen, Rod Argent.
Rux: "Masters of War" by Dylan…
Skid: Ok, but wait a second…what band was Rod Argent in?
Rux: Da Zombies.
Skid: Very nice. Actually, now I am intrigued. I’d probably like to hear some
of that. I’d probably rip the shred out of it, but…
Rux: All right, here we are to "Jeremy." "Lately he’s alone
Skid: "Jeremy Spokane, Spokane."
Rux: Jeremy’s in Spokane?
Rux: I think Eddie was exorcising some demons on this one.
Skid: Lemon-yellow sun.
Rux: Some nice imagery in this song. It’s not very humanitarianly uplifting,
but it’s nice imagery.
Skid: But his seizures…its like this is all seeping out of his pores and I
think he would just open up, he would destroy quite a bit of whatever
land-mass he was on at the time.
Rux: Well sure.
Skid: He does the whole thing with his eyes fluttering, and trying to suppress
whatever it is that’s going on. It causes his whole voice to fluctuate…
Rux: I vaguely remember that whole deal.
Skid: …and he soils himself. Odors, bug eyes, smoke from his ears…
Rux: I did.
Skid: Chaffing, itching, burning.
Rux: Chiggers, I said.
Rux: I think there are a couple songs on here about Black & Decker.
Skid: Oh, really? What’s your favorite Black & Decker song? Ebony &
Rux: I don’t know.
Skid: We haven’t talked about…maybe this isn’t the right song…but we haven’t
talked about the Pearl Jam name was allegedly an aunt Pearl Weiss. -Before
the hyphen- made some kind of a jam with psychledine mushrooms. Is that
what they’re called?
Rux: Really? The psylicibine guys?
Skid: Yeah, psylicibine mushrooms.
Rux: Wacky jam?
Skid: Yeah, and it was a family tradition. And no one thought anything odd
about it. They just sat around on the holidays eating Pearl’s jam (if
you know what I mean).
Rux: Getting whacked?
Skid: Yeah you know, an older aunt.
Rux: I never heard that. I never heard that. Keep going though; it’s an interesting
Skid: That’s it. End of story. (sings) "Cause if I get stoned and sing
all night long, it’s just"
Skid & Rux: (sing in unison) "a family tradition."
Rux: Oh, Hank Williams Jr. where did you go wrong?
Skid: Oh, Hank Williams Jr.Jr…
Skid: Where did…you…go…wrong. Ah that’s a different story.
Rux: He went wrong when he started doing the country instead of the punk.
He does both… I don’t get it. I haven’t heard either…no that’s not true.
I’ve heard one of the country songs.
Skid: I heard him singing with some band…Melvins or some such. I can’t remember.
Skid: I don’t think it was the Melvins…something unintelligible. Doesn’t it
sound like he’s singing about Spokane?
Rux: Oh, yeah sure. And he might well be. REALLY.
Skid: Did you hear the lounge singer version of this? They had the guy on the
clips he would do whatever tune was popular at the time? Like Cyprus Hill.
Rux: Oh, yeah yeah. Like commercials or sumpin?
Skid: On some sort of video music channel…I don’t recall what that was all
about. I can’t remember what the channel was called. I’m sure it isn’t
around anymore. It was pretty enjoyable, I think his name was Toby something.
Jeremy Spokane, hey the kid just can’t shut up.
Rux: (giggle) Hey fuggetaboutit.
Skid: The hollering here where he’s…
Skid: The meandering that he’s doing reminds me of someone, I can’t place it
though. The "I-I-I" part reminds me of you.
Rux: Really? All right, I’ll play. I’ll play your dumb-stupid reality.
Skid: Yeah. You know what we should do, while we’re doing this we should play
Rux: We should invent our own?
Skid: I like that little ending.
Rux: Yeah with that extra stuff going on.
Skid: Yeah, those are nice tones.
Rux: Belly, very bell-like.
Rux: Aww now he’s sounding like the guy from Blind Melon.
Skid: Well I think there is a definite
connection there. The neo-hippy rock.
Rux: Blind Melon were past this. They were a product of this, right?
Skid: Oh yeah.
Rux: That guy killed himself.
Skid: I think that was actually on the back of the tour-bus as I understand.
Rux: I think you’re right. All the sudden he was dead.
Skid: I’ve got no tolerance for them. And I think they share the same fan base.
Rux: I think you’re probably right; one of my little brothers is very into
some of that Blind Melon stuff. I guess they did a record called Nico
which was supposedly really bluesy and good.
Skid: Did it have Nico? Blind Melon with Nico?
Skid: Did it have a banana on the cover? Blind banana?
Rux: No, don’t talk like that. See they got this almost tympani thing going
on right here. Some nice flange on the vocals… but you’re right. This
band has no meat. They exist for the energy.
Skid: Like sugar. His voice is very annoying. Pretty much all of the time.
Rux: Yeah, the flange certainly doesn’t help it.
Skid: As far as vocals the only thing I can relate him to is kind of Tiny Tim.
That, or Ethel Merman.
Rux: You are killing me with that.
Skid: Well am I right? Or am I right? I’m right.
Rux: He’s like Tiny Tim and Shannon Hoon all rolled into one.
Skid: That’s the guy’s name. What’s the name of that dead guy?
Rux: Shannon Hoon.
Rux: Shannon Whom.
Skid: Oh, Womb? Of course Blind Lemon…
Skid: Yeah, that’s what I’m getting to. Blind Melon took Blind Lemon…
Rux: Like Blind Lemon Jefferson the blues guy?
Skid: Right, and just spelled it backwards. A palindrome or whatever you call
it when you mix the letters up by accident. Blind Melon Jefferson
Rux: Mixing the letters up accidentally, that’s what I call it. That’s the
technical term for it.
Skid: Well you don’t have to get technical about it. Now are we going to be
Rux: I’m sure eventually, we are.
Skid: Can we be the next Napster? We can call it Panster. Just like Lemon-Melon-Lemon,
Skid: Panster…I did.
Rux: Oh, you got me.
Skid: I wasn’t even ready for that one.
Rux: I wasn’t either. Ok, we’ve got energy here.
Skid: It’s got some weird beat.
Rux: It’s a slur on the downbeat.
Skid: he’s just on a different plane, man.
Rux: But he’s shoving lots of words in.
Skid: Yeah, and I usually like that, but he’s still doing floaty things above
the band. He’s not part of the band.
Rux: That’s very interesting.
Skid: He’s not meaty, he’s not feeling it from his gut.
Rux: Yeah? Remember that one time at band camp?
Skid: Uh…nope. Not really.
Rux: I don’t know that our readers are going to be that interested in reading
this Pearl Jam one. It seems kind of boring.
Rux: I mean, I thought the Grateful Dead one was going to be boring, but it
was actually pretty funny.
Skid: Yeah, I don’t find any humor in this at all.
Rux: You’ve not smiled once.
Skid: No. Maybe we shouldn’t sit here staring at each other.
Rux: Maybe not. Maybe that’s a bad thing.
Skid: I’d like a screen put up here.
Rux: Allright it’s right next to you, just pull it on over. Move it on over!
Skid: OK, here’s what we’re going to do, I’m going to grab this mike and go
hide somewhere. And you’ll have to find me. And I’ll make little eeeheeeeheeeeh
noises. And you’ll have to kind of follow that.
Rux: I don’t know how well that’s going to work. But, OK. You’ve only got
like 25 or 50 for the cord. You can get about as far as the door.
Skid: Awright. I better get my head start.
Rux: It’s not keeping your attention, is it?
Skid: Apparently not.
Rux: I’m losing it. I’m way in left field.
Skid: Keeps singing yeah.
Rux: Yeah. That’s on thing that bothers me is sometimes he won’t take the
time to write words. He feels he needs to fill space, and he just fills
the space with "lalas" and "yeahs."
Skid: Uh huh, he wants to hear his voice. He can’t let the music breathe.
Rux: Right. He’s pretty much always there. At least in this early stuff.
Skid: A lot of the time. I think there were a few times when there were gaps
where people were doing things.
Rux: I mean like he lets the solos go.
Skid: But if he runs out of things to say, he’ll keep saying things anyway.
Rux: Everything on this record with the exception of "Even Flow"
and "Why Go" was a one-word title.
Skid: Isn’t EvenFlow one word? Or is it hyphenated like Knudsen-Weiss?
Rux: No, it’s written as two words. But the way he sings it, it might as well
be one word. See. This is very nice guitar work.
Skid: It’s just another of a long list of bands that, if it was a different
vocalist, it would be more palatable to me.
Rux: Yeah, I can understand that. I like this song a lot, but there is always
the distraction of his voice.
Skid: Chicks dig him.
Rux: Yeah. I don’t get that, because the guy is not all that handsome.
Skid: I think they like the fluttering eyes. It looks like he’s about to prophesy.
Rux: You guys need a col’un? Need another col’ un?
Skid: Ow. My colon. I am suddenly aware that I have over 40 feet of lower intestine.
Or is that upper intestine?
Rux: I can’t remember. There are big and little intestines. You have a lot
of little intestines from what I hear. On the average.
Skid: I have unusually large intestines.
Rux: for a boy my size…
Skid: I’m not fat, I’m big intestined.
Rux: It does feel a little constrictive with the microphones.
Skid: Yeah. We may just have to scratch this and start all over. I’m gonna
go over here. I’m gonna listen to something else. You listen to Pearl
Jam on that side. Don’t cross this line. They sound very tired now on
this one… They’ve run out of juice. What track is this?
Rux: 9… of 11.
Skid: 9 of 11, huh? That’s my favorite Star Trek character. 9 of 11.
Rux: I like 7 of 11, myself.
Skid: Yeah! Let’s get a Slurpee.
Rux: Yes. 7 of 11. The bringer of Slurpee.
Skid: And like Borg nachos. I want to be assimilated into the machine.
Rux: The Slurpee machine!
Rux: There seems to be some message of hope… or maybe challenge, in this song.
But that one guitar thing is really kind of bothersome.
Skid: Yeah it is.
Rux: Come on guys, play chords. Play chords. You! The other guitar player.
Play some chords.
Skid: Yeah. What’s he doing? Just snacking on some nachos or something?
Rux: Yes. Borg nachos.
Skid: Pearl Jam is a stupid name.
Rux: All right. I’ll play… It ranks right up there, doesn’t it?
Skid: Oh yeah. Live came out right around this time. That’s another stupid
Rux: If you are from the East Coast, I hear you call them Live.
Skid: Well, that’s what I thought it was at first.
Skid: Yeah. They’re from Pennsylvania.
Rux: They’ve got a message, man.
Skid: What is it? Tell us?
Rux: I haven’t quite figured it out yet. It changes.
Skid: I like them. It’s still a stupid band name though. It’s confusing.
Skid: Yes, please welcome the band Name.
Rux: Here is an interesting guitar thing… that they should have done twice
and left alone.
Skid: That is different.
Rux: I don’t know that I ever made it this far on the record. (Skid makes
warbling noises) That’s the thing that bothers me most about his voice.
The falsetto… the warbling.
Skid: Yeah. He’s epileptic, man. Like Joe Cocker.
Rux: The vibrato. Joe Cocker is worse than Eddie Vedder.
Skid: The what? Vibrato?
Rux: Yeah, the forced vibrato he always has in his voice. Maybe it is natural,
but it sounds so forced to me.
Skid: Yeah. It’s very unnerving. Quit touching things.
Rux: I can’t help it.
Skid: That’s what… you know on the first song on this album there wasn’t a
lot of that.
Skid: A lot of the warbling. He’s really kind of letting it out… And this is
different from what I heard. I think he found that during the second song
and just kept going with it. No one bothered to stop him and say, "what
the hell are you doing?"
Rux: This may be my favorite song off the record. With the cool guitar stuff
Skid: It is different. It’s got a nice feel.
Rux: It’s got some energy… He’s singing over everything.
Skid: They got a weird backing too, that’s different.
Rux: It’s guitar, man. Oh no, they are doing some weird stuff. This one is
called "Deep." Deep.
Skid: Christmas Gleem. It’s a special red and green toothpaste… with stars.
Rux: Only available 2 months of the year?
Skid: Uh huh. Tastes like peppermint, I guess. (sings) "She doesn’t like
the view. She doesn’t like the view. She doesn’t like The View, with Barbara
Rux: I like the guitars in this song. That guitar thing – that I’m sure is
Stone playing – is very good.
Skid: "Deep. De deep de deep."
Rux: There is some weird stutter there. I like that.
Skid: Yeah. I like this. And "Alive."
Rux: I like this and "Even Flow."
Skid: Do you?
Rux: I like "Even Flow" pretty good. Maybe it’s because I can’t
understand what the guy is saying.
Skid: Shah fra shah fra shah fra. That was Andy’s. Shah fra.
Rux: Shah fra this. Shah fra that.
Skid: I’m going in to get my Sha fra taken care of.
Rux: I’ve got a leaky Shah fra.
Skid: I’ve got a rakey Shah fra.
Rux: I have to say that I like that song.
Rux: Here’s your final track, Skid.
Skid: Yeah. I’m pretty much… this whole review has been completely unlistenable.
Rux: Yeah. Completely. Have fun reading, kids.
Skid: I mean, not the music. Some of it was bad, but it wasn’t unlistenable.
But the delivery here, we’ve had little to say, and little of it was funny.
Rux: We’re gonna get cancelled, aren’t we?
Skid: We need a couch down here.
Rux: Oh yeah. That’d be real nice. I thought he was going to go into (sings)
"I seem to recognize my fa-ace."
Skid: That’s what I was waiting for.
Rux: No, they just stole it from themselves.
Skid: Man, this low singing is odd to me… on his voice. I think he’s going
for something that he’s not getting. It’s like he has got something in
his mouth. He’s got a????.
(Rux spits up laughing)
Can you say that?
Rux: (laughing) You just did.
Skid: No, I didn’t.
Rux: I was going for marbles, but all right…
Skid: Someone just ran in here and talked into my mike… did that just come
out of my mouth?
Rux: (still laughing) Uh huh…
Skid: Something came out of his mouth.
Rux: Oh my…
Skid: He’s got something in the back of his throat.
Rux: Chewing cum.
Skid: GUM. It sounds like he’s got strep throat. That is what I’m trying to
Rux: I think you are right. This band could be better with a different singer.
Skid: Or he could be better with a different voice.
Rux: Yeah. They’ve had some incredible longevity for the scene that they were
in. I don’t know that I feel that they’ve really adapted that much… That’s
not true. On Yield, there was some incredible stuff. It was incredible
musically. I can’t really tell you anything about Eddie Knudson-Weiss’s
performance, but the music on that record is incredible. That’s the one
with the meandering poetry song with the e-bow all the way through it,
pretty much. Beautiful song.
Skid: I haven’t heard it.
Rux: It’s a beautiful song. It’s called "Wish List."
Skid: So would that be so much really a song?
Rux: Yeah. I think so.
Skid: Are they singing?
Rux: Yeah. (sings) "I wish I was an acrobat, blah blah blah blah blah
Skid: Sounds like R.E.M.
Rux: It is kind of an R.E.M. type deal. But the music in it is beautiful.
It’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever done.
Skid: Now, is his voice more annoying to you than Chris Cornell?
Rux: As a general rule… Yes.
Skid: Is it?
Rux: Yeah. Chris Cornell has a little bit more distinctive character to his
voice, without being overly annoying to me.
Skid: Oh yeah?
Rux: Yeah. That was… Grunge had nothing to do with music, it had to do with
bad vocalists, didn’t it?
Skid: Well, they come from such very different styles. Cornell is just 70’s
metal to me.
Rux: These guys are too, though.
Skid: But not Eddie Vedder. Eddie Vedder is some kind of I’m-singing-to-try-to-impress-girls,
Rux: Competing with the band all the time… this is a nice bit.
Skid: Don’t get me wrong. Chris Cornell’s voice annoys me, but at least he
fits into his band. Eddie Vedder’s voice, at least in this, it just doesn’t
fit into what the band is doing. But they are pretty much both equally
annoying to me. You know what we should do? Go over this twice, but only
do the music once, so there would be four of us on the tape talking all
Rux: Well, that’s the record. Here’s a hidden track… just a bunch of monkey
noises. That’s some nice fretless bass there.
Skid: Yeah, I like that.
Rux: It’s just some jungle music.
Skid: Oh, here comes Vedder… I did.
Rux: Oh you got me. I’m slow on the uptake today. It’s just some mood music…
It’s not really music.
Skid: It’s falling asleep music at the end of the disc…
Times Rux should have started the Stone
Gossard Fan Club: at least 5
Skid to Rux to Vedder "Yeah"
ratio : 39 / 34 / 114
Times Rux ended a sentence with same phrase
he started it with: 2
People who get the Knudson-Weiss