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As foretold in prophecy... The Upstart Pipsqueaks have come face to face with the mythical ant-being Marco Pirroni. In their giddy and girlish state, they took a moment to ask Sir Marco a few questions… and to play THE GAME.


Pips: Dearest Marco-if that is your real name.

MP: I'm afraid it is (would you prefer Major Batt Guano?)

Pips: Who is Dirk?

MP: Sir Dirk Bogarde, British actor, star of the "Night Porter", appeared on cover of "radio times" mag wearing white socks. Spookily in the same pose as Our Lord God, BRYAN FERRY, in the N.M.E the week before, also wearing white socks.

Pips: What’s the matter with Nick Kent?

MP: He's a junkie public school journo who got beaten by a bike chain at the 100 club by Sid Vicious. You weren’t there? Oh no, you missed it. Oh how we laughed.

Pips: What’s the other word that replaces Nick Kent in the other verse?

MP: Bushell… as in Gary, right wing skinhead journo ,now hosts cheap gameshows on obscure cable channels. No really! You couldn't make it up! He hated the Ants and look at him now, big man, eh?

Pips: What is the role (if any) of Malcolm McLaren on the Ants and will you say horrible things about him?

MP: I certainly will, but firstly I'd just like to say some nice things about him. And don't believe what others say THEY WERE NOT THERE!(except of course the pistols themselves, but there're bitter and I don't blame them really )

1)no malcolm=SEX shop

2)no malcolm=no pistols

3)no malcolm=no punk

4)no punk=no one with any suss being interested in music ever again

You can't take these things away from him, and don't talk about the Clash and the Jam ,what Malcolm created with the sex pistols was something else entirely, a real rock’n'roll revolution not just another hippie Beatles song. This really happened. They were much more than just another great band, and they made more than just records ,I could go on, but in true 76'punk style "If I have to explain then you don't deserve to understand". Anyway, in 78 and 79, Adam and the Ants were probably the biggest live band in Britain, but with no record deal, they were seen to be a punk band with a punk following. (Punk was totally dead by the end of 77,but it staggered on in a sort of provincial moronic zombie version for a few years.) Adam of course knew this and if the ants were ever to break out of that rut they had to be transformed. Adam asks Malcolm for advice "it'll cost you a thousand pounds, boy" so Adam coughs up, first thing no more black, second thing a new sound but during rehearsals for this new wilder tribal sound, old Malcolm realizes, “hmm… there's more than a thousand pounds to be made here, but this Adam kid, eager and hard working though he is, isn't going to do every thing I tell him also he isn't dim enough to let me steal all the money, so if I tell the other three what they want to hear, they will get rid of him for me.” So that's what happened. Basically Adam was out of his own band, and Bow Wow Wow went on to fame, success and abject poverty and Adam ended up at my house and the rest really is history.

Pips: Tell us of these reunion rumors- how can there be an ants reunion without Marco Pirroni?

MP: There can't.

Pips: Whom's pissed at whoms?

MP: Everybody’s pissed at me. (Except Adam. For him, I can do no wrong, well mostly anyway)

Pips: What bands currently do you feel are the most overrated?

MP: Any boy band/any corporate pop/Craig David/

Pips: Marco, would you care to play…THE GAME?


We’ve been expecting you…Mr. Pirroni.

Gary Cooper or Gary Shandling?

Gary Cooper

Gary Cooper or Gary Glitter?

er...oh yeah..Gary Cooper

Gary Glitter or Tex Ritter?

Gary Glitter

Tex Ritter or Texas Red?

who's texas red?

Texas Red or Red Sovine?

I never heard of either or them

Texas Red or Red Buttons?

Red Buttons? I'll heard of him. but I don't know who he is

Texas Red or Mississippi John Hurt?

er..I'll have to guess, Mississippi John Hurt?

Mississippi John Hurt or John Wayne?

johnny staccato

John Wayne or John Hancock?

John Wayne

John Wayne or Wayne "The Train" Hancock?

Bruce Wanye(are you getting enough sleep ?Mr Wayne you always look v.tired)

Wayne Hancock or Wayne Rogers?

I don't know who these people are

Wayne Rogers or Roy Rogers?

Roy Rogers

Roy Rogers or Prince Rogers Nelson?

"my name is Prince Rogers Nelson and I am funky"

Prince Rogers Nelson or Rick Nelson?

Prince Rogers Nelson

Prince Rogers Nelson or Charles Nelson Reilly?

Charles Nelson Reilly

Charles Nelson Reilly or Life of Reilly?

Charles Nelson Reilly

Life of Reilly or life of Brian?

Life of Brian

Life of Brian or Brian Jones?

Bryan Ferry

Brian Jones or David Jones?

David Jones

David Jones or Davey Jones?

Ziggy Stardust

Davey Jones or Davey Crockett?

Davey Crockett

Davey Crockett or Crockett and Tubbs?

Davey Crockett

Sinead O'Connor or Sinead Lohan?

ha Shiney O'Connor

Sinead O'Connor or Sean Connery?

Sean Connery(oh ,that interesting car of yours ,Mr Bond, but I too have a new toy....)

Sean Connery or Chris Connelly?

Sean Connery(you're quite mad, Goldfinger)

Chris Connelly or David Bowie?

Bowie(i'm a mama papa coming for you...eh?)

David Bowie or.... wait, no one goes up against David Bowie...

 How very true

Will you buy us something?

Well I'd love to but I'm a homeless pauper, with nothing left but my memories.

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