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This month, the Upstart Pipsqueaks have challenged Marco to a harrowing game of 9 Quizzacles. The prize? Your laughter and enjoyment... let's take a peak:

Please sharpen your pencils, you have 30 minutes to take the quiz.

 

1] A Ferry leaves Brighton at 3:45 pm at 20 knots for Burgess Hill.If a train leaves Newcastle Upon Tyne at 6:15 pm traveling at 128 kph to Durham, who sounds more like Bryan Ferry?

a) Mark Hollis

b) Bryan Ferry

A: Bryan Ferry (I refuse to answer any funny questions about B.F. as he is god and his vengeance is total ,i.e. I may not be invited to his parties anymore, its ok for you, you wouldn't be invited anyway)

2] If Malcolm hadn't put the nail in the Dolls coffin, who would be a better cabbie?

a) David Johansen

b) Tom Waits

c) Mojo Nixon

A: New York cabbie ? Or London cabbie?

3] Who's the better reformed hair farmer?

a) Ian Astbury

b) Anthony Keidis

c) Billy Duffy

A: Anthony looks good with long hair as he is an American ,English people look stupid with long hair ,English guys should be sharp ,Americans look shit anyway except for Iggy Pop, Bryan Gregory(ex -cramps)and that style icon MR Rob Zombie(and Bruce Willis)

4] Best movie pairing:

a) Adam with Bruce Dern

b) Adam with Harry Dean Stanton

c) Adam with Dennis Hopper

A: ADAM and that thing with the stupid ears from the phantom menace

5] Using basic Euclidian arithmetic, where z represents the variabletime, and x represents the constant motion equation, what would be the most disastrous breakfast scenario?

a) being served ham and eggs by Hildegaard Van Bingen

b) omelets with Axl Rose

c) Tea and toast, served on the sweet belly of a naked Anne Margaret

A: I live in England, breakfast is against the law here and Anne Margaret is v.old now

6] The most logical reason for having dual percussionists in the Ants is:

a) to make a whole helluva lot of noise

b) to orchestrate an even more helluva lot of noise

c) to prove to the world what a helluva lot of noise should sound like done up right

A: the reason we had two drummers is because Terry was my friend from school and Chris was Adamís friend and they fell in love and we didn't have the heart to split them up. Also, Drummers are cheaper if you buy in bulk. Any way Imake all the noise on my own. I don't need them

Essay Questions

A] Describe the impact Brix Smith's departure had on The Fall of The British Empire.

A: I don't know ,but her next 2 husbands had to pay a lot of alimony.

B] In "Taming Of The Shrew" Shakespeare's Sister finds that what Hole has stolen her spooky style?

A: I have to be careful what I say here as girl singers scare me.

C] Who got dat rhythm and blues?

A: the woman who did the original Hound Dog, [it] pisses all over Elvis (and he was pretty good ,I like the end bit the best )

 

Return to Upstart Pipsqueaks


Mike Doughty



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